My appointment is at 9:00

old school

Appointments. We all have them. And we have  a myriad of ways of keeping up with them. In the old-school days we had things called appointment books. American Express used to solicit my interest in a very formal, leather bound appointment book that weighted about 5 pounds. It looked like something you would put out on a coffee table. Of course, there is also the "stick it on the refrigerator with that pizza ad magnet" method of displaying those little appointment cards the dentists and doctors give you. Most of us now have the information stored on our cellphone, smartphone, iPad, or whatever other computing device we use. Lots of ways to keep up to make absolutely sure we do not miss an appointment. We don't want to be late.

I have a peeve about one particular type of appointment. I think this may actually be a universal peeve. Where in the world did the word "peeve" come from anyway? And the word is almost always preceded by the word pet. 1500's Middle English word pevish...becomes peevish (adjective) and about 1910 morphs into the noun variant "peeve." Enough of that tangent.

OK... let's get to it. If you have a doctor's appointment at 9:00am on any given Tuesday morning...what time would you expect to actually see the doctor as he or she begins his or her examination? Here's how it typically works... You arrive around 8:53-8:56, sign in on the clipboard in front of the window indicating the time you arrived, the time of your appointment and the name of your doctor. Why do they want to know when you arrived? Is there a punctuality award that is presented each week? If you arrived at 9:02 does that mean you have lost your place in the queue and will be penalized?

OK, so you arrive at 8:55, sign in, sit down and search for a magazine that was actually published during the term of the Obama administration. Finding none, you grab a Sports Illustrated where you can relive the 1998 World Series final game. Around 9:20 the door to the medical inner sanctum opens up and you hear your last name called out in the form of a question. Bueller? You pop up like a jack-in-the box, put the magazine back and head towards that door...not too bad...only 20 minutes late seeing the doctor.

Oh, but it is just an illusion. The nurse escorts you to the examination room (aka holding pen 3a) and as she slides right back out she says (with a surprisingly straight face) the six magic words..."the doctor will be right in." This isn't your first rodeo but you refrain from shouting out "liar, liar, pants on fire." Now it is 9:30. You look around the examination room and take inventory of all the things you can see. You notice a jar filled with tongue depressors (does the same company that makes popsicle sticks also make tongue depressors? If not, maybe this is one small way to bring down the cost of healthcare.) You wonder if you are supposed to sit on the examination stool or go ahead and take a sit on the butcher paper covered examination table.

At 9:47 you hear a knock and a different nurse comes in, sits down on the stool and begins her questioning. "So, why are we here this morning" We? I assume she is here because she works here and I am here for the same reason I gave the receptionist 11 days ago when I made my appointment. But I guess someone forgot to write that down. So I explain my reason for ruining my Tuesday morning by having to come to the doctor. After several more questions, she gets up and says those same six words I heard the other nurse say. Hmmm...another liar.

At 9:57, the door opens and in pops the doctor who asks the question "so, why are we here today?" My goodness, don't any of these people share information?  The examination takes all of 4 minutes and 34 seconds then you are being escorted out the door and down the hall to the "pay your bill" window and to tell the check-out person the date and time when the doctor wants to see you again...and to pay your bill.

Is it too much to expect that if you have an appointment to see the doctor at 9:00 that you could actually see the doctor at 9:00? Why does this never happen?

I mean, you had an appointment...