Things About My Carol: Part 9: "She Is Truly The Best Person I Have Ever Known"

GHHS 1973 yearbook

Back in 1973, they stated that Jean and Mike (not me, another Mike) were the most dependable. Nathaniel and Beulah were the wittiest. Amelia and Art were considered to be the most creative. They said that David and Stephanie had the best personalities. It was agreed that Yasmin and Mark were the most athletic. Victor and Debra were voted the most attractive. And, finally, everyone was sure that Deborah and Ronnie were going to be the most successful. Almost every high school has (or at least had) a (somewhat strange) tradition wherein graduating seniors vote to decide which of their fellow soon-to-be graduates are considered to be superlative in various categories important to 17 year olds. The names above are from my graduating class. I had no disagreement with our choices. These classmates of mine were well-deserving.

Carol (we graduated from different high schools) wasn't voted by her senior classmates as having had any superlative attributes that are yearbook worthy. Part of the reason was because she didn't stick around long enough to actually become a high school senior... she graduated early after her junior year. Given my recollection of what high school was like back in the 1900s, as well as Carol's somewhat in-the-background public persona, I doubt she would have been a winner of any parts of the popularity contest. And that would have suited her just fine.

We don't remain 17 or 22 forever. I've known more than a few folks that continued to live out the glory days of their high school or college years well past the time when those achievements should have been filed under fond memories. It's like the 40-something guy in the bar bragging for the umpteenth time about the winning touchdown pass he threw in the region championship game (he fails to recount how they lost in the state title game.) Most of us don't rest on our teenage laurels. 

So, how do you measure success in life? How do you really know if you have done it right and made a difference? Some of the things we do as a consequence of our careers or other endeavors come with accolades, recognition, awards, and rewards. But, for most of us, we just live our lives as best we can not seeking or expecting trophies.

So here's my superlative declaration:

Carol Williams Toomey is the best person I have ever known.

"What is your criteria for saying that other than the fact that you feel you need to because she is your wife?" you may ask. I actually don't feel obligated to make that statement because she is my wife.

I don't think you have to believe or say that the person you married is the most attractive person you've ever met. I don't believe that your spouse must be the smartest person or have the best personality. Your spouse doesn't necessarily have to be your best friend in the world (although she is mine.) I mean, let's be pragmatic for a second. There are 340 million people in the United States alone. I know and have met people that are more physically beautiful, or intelligent, or creative, or successful, or funny, or talented, or several dozen other qualities that we often consider the most important. Make no mistake, my wife has all of the qualities I've just listed. But nobody would vote her as being "the most" on any of them.

But there are qualities that I have not listed that are far more important to me. The apostle Paul itemizes some of these important things in his letter to the Galatians- Chapter 5:22-23-  being loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, a desire to do good, faithful, gentle, and not impulsive. He describes those as "fruits of the Spirit" (that would be the Holy Spirit.) I know Carol to have an abundance of all those qualities.

The Carol I have known for almost 43 years is a woman that loves profusely, is full of humility, is never attention seeking, is giving, caring, kind, compassionate, loyal, polite, friendly, gifted, fun-loving, clever, spicy, smart, hard-working, tender, beautiful, devoted...     

and has shown great patience with me.

When I met Carol I was a pretty broken person on the inside trying to maintain a facade that suggested otherwise. Once married, I don't think it took too long for Carol to figure out that I was going to be a work-in-process. She probably didn't intend to sign up for that but, she took on that unspoken assignment with patience and love.**

But this is the most important part. Carol was my first best glimpse of Jesus. Oh, I had grown up as a child going to church and even attended parochial school early on. But I was as lost out in left field as a person could be and had remained so well into adulthood. I honestly didn't know any better. Until I witnessed and experienced better.

And her example pointed me to the One that changed my life.

Carol is the best person I have ever known. For a hundred reasons. 

Most importantly, she reminds me of Jesus. 

** For the last 9 years, her dementia diagnosis has given me the unexpected opportunity to give back to her in many of the ways that she has given to me in the first 33 years of our marriage. So I don't consider caring for her over these last few years a burden at all. I consider it a great privilege.

I like to think that, in being an amazing role model, she taught me well.

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Is It Still Christmas If I Don't Decorate?

Carol was always the one that made the house look so nice for Christmas. The only real question was what day on the calendar was it appropriate to start decorating and putting up the Christmas tree. I was always in the camp of waiting at least until after we celebrated Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. But the pull was always strong to decorate earlier as we fell deeper and deeper into the trappings of the advertisers, retailers, and Hallmark, who begin their Yuletide barrage even before Halloween (did I just say that out loud?) Or maybe it is just that Carol loved to get the house all dressed up for Christmas and the earlier the better. I never put up much of a fuss though. No need. I knew who the Christmas boss was.

This will be our 9th Christmas in Dementialand. In the first few years after her diagnosis, Carol was still able to do her thing as far as Christmas decorating goes. One of the many things (and favorite things of mine) she used to do was display, all around the house, the many different nativities we had acquired. We had several. Over the years I tried to find new ones in my/ our travels. We had nativities from Israel, Italy, Brazil, Panama, and Ecuador, among others places. Some were full manger scenes, some were just a piece or three.

                  

As the years went by, the responsibility fell to me to do the Christmas decorating. Trust me, you don't want me doing your Christmas decorating. I have no talent for it. But I've tried, at least, to put up our little pencil tree with a few ornaments and some other sparse decorations here and there.

This year has been different. This year I've done nothing. Our kids and grandkids are coming to spend Christmas with us (this is "our" year for Christmas; last year was our year for Thanksgiving.) Our family won't be here for Christmas day though. They will do Christmas morning at their own homes with their kids. As it should be. Kids and grandkids arrive a day or two after Christmas.

But, Carol doesn't even know it is December, much less soon-to-be-Christmas. So, I have done zero decorating this year. It's not because I'm lazy or depressed or anything. It just seems... unnecessary. I've been focused on other things. Of course, I have presents for all four grandkids and they will tear into them when they all get here. And we will feast on a great meal together Saturday. And we will rejoice!

So, is it still Christmas if I don't decorate? I guess that depends on what the holiday means.

Jesus Christ is still Emmanuel... God with us. And we will still celebrate the gift that God gave all of us over 2,000 years ago. I'm pretty sure that God is more concerned with what is in my heart than what is under (or on) my roof.

Christmas isn't Christmas because of anything I do. Or you do. Christmas is Christmas because of what God has done. Jesus is all the adornment we could ever need.

The answer is yes.

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Is This Really Living?

It is good, right?

There is a term that has been around since the 1950s called Activities of Daily Living... ADL. The term is used to describe the 6 most basic functional "skills" that adults should possess. They are:

• Ambulating- moving from point to point and walking independently
• Feeding- feeding yourself
• Dressing- choosing appropriate clothing and dressing yourself
• Personal hygiene- bathing, grooming, maintaining your dental hygiene, nails and hair
• Continence- controlling your bladder and bowel function
• Toileting- getting to and from the toilet and "tidying up" afterwards

According to the National Institute of Health, there is also a list of "Instrumental" ADLs. These are:

• Transportation and shopping
• Managing finances
• Shopping and meal preparation (shopping is evidently important)
• Housecleaning and home maintenance
• Managing communication with others
• Managing medications

I can't help but stay focused on the term "daily living." I know these described capabilities are primarily used to assess the degree to which adults may or may not need to be dependent on someone else to navigate pretty basic but necessary things. (I am intimately familiar with all of this these days.) And I don't really have a better description to offer to what they call "daily living." But there has to be more to daily living than the 6 basics and 6 bonus items above, right? I mean, wouldn't this be better described as "daily existing?" Is what's listed above... really living?

I vaguely remember my high school psychology class but I do remember reading about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It was like the food pyramid only completely different. I know I need nuts, grains, and vegetables but, according to Maslow,  I also need intimate relationships and self actualization, among other things.

Source: Chiquo, CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

So, if I have all these needed things, does that mean that I am truly living? Or am I just surviving, or existing, or is there some other basal term that is appropriate?

There has to be more to life than food, and shelter, and toileting, and shopping, and holding a fork, and being creative, and balancing a checkbook, right? I realize my question smacks of a myopic, first-world interrogatory but, my question remains nonetheless.

Isn't there more to life than having these core needs met?

Maybe the bible can help me out here. I'm not looking to merely get by, to only navigate from one day to the next until death us do part. So, I went looking to see what scripture says about life's intention. Well, as it turns out, there is a whole lot to be found there about how we should live our life and what our expectations can be in doing so. In fact, there is so much there that this blog won't remotely be able to do it justice. But one verse in particular stands out.

Jesus is answering the Pharisees in John chapter 10 (Jesus had just healed a man who was born blind and the Pharisees were fixated on his potential rule breaking and the reason for the man's blindness rather than the miracle Jesus had just performed.) In Chapter 10, Jesus explains why He came and uses the metaphorical image of being the Good Shepherd. The shepherd would lay down his life for his sheep. His sheep know him and know him so well that they can pick out his voice above all the noisy voices that might surround them. And then Jesus says this at the end of verse 10 (I'm quoting from the New American Standard version because this was my very first bible... given to me by my wife.) "...I came so that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (emphasis mine) Now that sounds better than activities and needs.

The Greek word used for abundant is περισσὸν (perissos) and Barnes' Notes on the Bible commentary translates it this way:

"Literally, that they may have abundance, or that which abounds. The word denotes that which is not absolutely essential to life, but which is superadded to make life happy. They shall not merely have life – simple, bare existence – but they shall have all those superadded things which are needful to make that life eminently blessed and happy.”

Thayer's Greek Lexicon defines perissos/ abundant as: "over and above, more than is necessary, superadded"

With all due respect to Sidney Katz' ADLs and Maslow's pyramid of needs, I'm pretty sure I want an abundant life. 

I want what Jesus is offering. I don't want to just get by day-by-day. And I'm not talking about material things or what the world would say is an abundant life. I want to live life with a different perspective and a different priority. I want what my Creator intended for me.

And that's why I have been a Jesus follower since 1984. And He is faithful.

Carol and I could not navigate our "daily living" without Him.

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New American Standard Bible Copyright© 1960 - 2020 by The Lockman Foundation.

If I Have It, I Hope I'm Symptomatic

Some symptoms are better than others

We are witnessing and experiencing a global pandemic of a novel coronavirus that has been labeled SARS-CoV-2. Many of us have gained a whole new glossary of terms that has been thrust onto our collective vernacular and we furiously attempt to learn all that we can about the virus and its resulting disease called COVID-19. One of the things we have learned is that people infected with the virus may or may not show any outward, noticeable symptoms. Testing is being done on several levels. Some of the testing is to confirm whether people with symptoms do, in fact have COVID-19 or some other viral infection like influenza. This allows doctors to know the appropriate course of treatment as well as how to deal with issues of quarantine, contact tracing, etc.. Some of the testing is to see if asymptomatic (not showing symptoms) people are, in fact, carrying the disease. Some of the testing is to see if people are carrying antibodies which would be an indicator of a "successful," previous exposure/infection. Symptomatic. Asymptomatic. If you have this disease, can anyone tell? Is it noticeable to you and others around you?

I have been thinking lately about the whole issue of symptoms. My wife and I were both sick in mid-March with symptoms that, at any other time, I would have simply attributed to a cold. But, not this time. I took temperature readings every 4-6 hours and continuously asked my wife a litany of questions to see if she was experiencing any of the known symptoms of COVID-19 (we didn't and it WAS just a cold.)

But, this blog post isn't about SARS-CoV-2 or COVID-19.

If anyone asks me if I am religious, if I'm a believer, what church I attend, or any number of other queries that might answer my "spiritual identity," I would answer that I am a Christian... a follower of Jesus Christ. The church I attend is very important to me... it is the fellowship of believers with whom my wife and I have been partnered since 1983. But, it is secondary to who I am. As a believer and follower of Christ, I know that the Holy Spirit "resides" in me as in other followers of Christ.

So, this brings me back to the title of this blog. If I Have It, I Hope I'm Symptomatic.

If I am a Christian, do I demonstrate any of the symptoms?

In addition to the commands from Jesus that we find in the Gospels, the 5th Chapter of the Book of Galatians provides a pretty good summary of what those "symptoms" should look like. The entire chapter reveals attributes that a believer should be living. But, there are two verses in particular, verses 22 and 23, that are simple yet powerful. These verses are typically described as defining the "fruits of the Spirit." The symptoms, if you will, of a person who is a Christ follower.

22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control..."

There are people walking around right now with the coronavirus inside of them... but you would have a hard time knowing it from observing them. There is very little that is noticeable from the outside... nothing that distinguishes them from all the other people walking around.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control

I hope I'm symptomatic. I want what is inside of me to be manifested on the outside. And, as opposed to a virus, this is one thing I am eager to share with others.

Adventures with HaRVy- Dump Your Tanks!

We experienced our first long-distance, extended-stay trip in our motorhome. HaRVy is our 2008 38ft Damon Challenger Class A. HaRVy pulls Dolly and Dolly carries Taurus (the Bull) so that we have transportation at our destination.

She must trust the driver- she's napping

Last week, we drove 420 miles up to Georgia and camped for 8 nights at Mistletoe State Park in Appling, GA on Clarks Hill Reservoir. The 71,100 acre lake was formed in 1954 when the dam on the Savannah River, now named for J. Strom Thurmond, was completed.

Back in our tent and pop-up camping days, we stayed at a couple of the nearby Corp of Engineer campgrounds-- Petersburg and Winfield but, I wanted to try the state park this time. We reserved a pull-through site which turned out to be an excellent choice. We have a 50 amp motorhome but, we were unable to get into one of the relatively few sites that have 50 amp service. That simply means that, with only 30 amp service, we would be unable to run both AC units at the same time. Fortunately, our AC is a ducted system which means that cold air comes out all of the vents even when only one unit is running. We also had water hook up but not sewer hook up (if we had a sewer hook up, it would be considered a "full hookup site.") By not having it, we would have to visit the nearby dump station when exiting the campground.

If you are familiar with bigger RVs, you are familiar with the terms "fresh water, gray water, and black water." This refers to the onboard holding tanks. We can carry 65 gallons of fresh water. This is water that is provided to the sinks, the shower, and the toilet (for flushing.) We also can hold 47 gallons of gray water. This is the water that goes down your sinks and shower drains. We also can hold 47 gallons of black water. This is the result of what goes down the toilet. Because we were hooked up to the campground's water supply (a drinking water hose connects to the motorhome essentially like your garden hose,) fresh water tank capacity was a non-issue since we had an endless supply of pressurized water. However, when camping for an extended period, you have to remain mindful and periodically check your gray water and black water tank levels. We have an electronic display on the hallway wall where we can check our levels. At some point, hopefully not before you are ready to leave, you need to dump your tanks. Judicious use of water down the sinks and shower is important since we don't have unlimited tank capacity. We take "Navy showers" (turn on the shower, get wet, turn off the water, soap up and shampoo, turn water back on, and rinse.) 47 gallons sounds like a lot but, over the course of 8 days, it accumulates fast. Using the campground's bath house for showering helps to not fill up your gray tank prematurely.


I'll save for a later blog the actual process at the dump station. I'm sure you will be on the edge of your seat waiting on that one.

Tank dump valves. The least popular compartment under the motorhome.

I was thinking about those three tanks while camping this past week and began to see an analogy (like all analogies... it is not perfect but, stay with me.) We start out life with that life-giving, crystal clear, suitable-for-drinking, fresh water. But, because we are human and imperfect, that clean water, which comes in contact with our life, turns gray. All the dead skin, soil, and grime that runs off of us as well as the soapy, decaying particles that go down the kitchen sink turns that clear water to gray. It stops looking like what we started with. You may say it is just soapy water but... that's understating the condition of the water. I think the gray water can be like the everyday mistakes and ways we are disobedient... no longer pure and no longer clean. Because it is like the water most people are producing, we don't consider it THAT bad. That's our take on it. But it isn't clean. You would never want to drink it. It's not the best water we have to offer. But we look at everyone else and say that it's not so bad. (Some campgrounds even let you drain your gray water directly to the ground in designated areas.) Then there is the black water. Sometimes, how we live our lives can be such that we produce something that is toxic. It can make things (and people) it comes in contact with sick. It stinks. Nobody wants to be around it. Throughout our lives, we are generating smelly, soiled gray water and even some really nasty, disgusting black water. Regardless of whether gray or black... both are bad water. And both have to be dealt with... it needs to go. Yes, my tanks can hold tens of gallons of gray and black water; but, why would I want to continuously carry that around with me?

God's intention for our lives is to live in the crystal clear, fresh water that He has provided. Our attitudes, our disobedience, and our behaviors (especially towards others) stinks up what God intends for us. But, there is good news.

Because of what God has done for us (because He knew we would disobey and soil and stink up what He provided) we are allowed to dump those tanks. Because of the saving work of Jesus, we get to eliminate all that gray and black water in our lives and let it go. As I live, I am going to continue to accumulate more gray and black water. Since God provides me the way to be rid of it, why would I want to hold on to all that nasty stuff when I have been given the opportunity to let it go? The ability to dump the tanks, leaving me with only that beautiful fresh water I started with. I need to dump my tanks. I need to start anew with a fresh start. Every day. I need forgiveness, I need mercy, I need grace. I need to allow God to take away all that nastiness that I produce. Dump your tanks.

Thoughts and Prayers

Someone is scheduled for surgery. A friend's family member has been in an automobile accident. One of your co-workers has lost a loved one. A forest fire destroys a small town. A hurricane levels a beachfront city. A madman shoots up a high school. A service member returns home from overseas in a flag draped coffin. 

"I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers," we say.

But what are we really saying? Is that expression meant to be an authentic pledge or simply a meaningless platitude? Does a fearful, anxious, or even grief-filled person really gain anything from this promise?

Lately, in the wake of recent mass shootings, the offer of "thoughts and prayers" has been met with anger, frustration, mockery, and outright rejection. "I don't want your thoughts and prayers!" has been shouted back by some. Because, these days, the offer of "thoughts and prayers" is considered by some as simply code word for inaction or entrenchment.

When tragedy occurs, it is in our nature to want to understand why. We don't like the unexplained. We don't function well with uncertainty. We seek motive and answers. (We actually prefer control.) Why do bad things happen? When the answers don't come, we begin to fill in the blanks ourselves. No matter whether it is tragedy caused by another human, unexplained tragedies, or natural disasters, we demand answers and action.

We inhabit a massive, intricate planet that is constantly in activity and motion. Wind and water, tides and precipitation, temperatures and pressure are in a perpetual dance that, at its best, provides for breathtaking beauty and the sustainment of life; and, at its worst, gives us tornadoes, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, tsunamis, droughts, heat waves, ice ages.... destruction and death. Human knowledge has made incredible advances in our understanding and ability to predict... some things. But, we cannot make these cataclysmic events cease to occur. No more than we can stop the earth from rotating and revolving. So, we prepare as best we can. And when tragedy does strike, we can and should work to help those affected.

When a loved one dies... by war, by disease, by suicide, by accident, by murder, or for reasons we don't even know... it is heart-wrenching. Humans fiercely cling to life and, when death occurs... when it is premature or unexpected, we want to know and understand why. We want rules changed, or laws passed, or medical procedures allowed.... just do something! Finding ways to prevent tragedy is prudent. We can discuss and debate how to solve these things without demonizing one another. Two truths are inarguable... nature is fierce and powerful... and humans can and do unspeakable evils to one another. It has always been. 

I am not immune from the realities of life and the tragedies that can and do occur. But, as a Christian, I am not called to do nothing. When you face hardship and even death, I am called to walk with you through that time...to grieve and mourn with you. In times of trouble, you are to be in the forefront of my mind as I go about my day... setting aside my own priorities, if even for a few moments or hours, and to place what you are going through before my own immediate concerns. Keeping you in my thoughts. Assuring you that whatever you are going through... you have someone else that is trying to understand and be connected.

To say that I know exactly how prayer works would be grossly inaccurate. But, my faith tells me that I am to pray. The God of the universe... the Creator of all things tells me that His desire is for me (and all of us) to be in communion with Him through prayer. One of the things I am to do is ask... ask for my needs, ask for the outcomes I desire, and ask on behalf of someone else's needs. When I say that "I am keeping you in my prayers," I am interceding on your behalf with my Heavenly Father asking for His help to see you through your situation... as only He can do.

I can understand your pain as I have experienced my own. While we seek answers and solutions, please do not reject my offer to "keep you in my thoughts and prayers." That, and a warm embrace, when possible, is the highest gift I know to give you. I don't have the solutions to all the tragedies of life. But I know a Savior that does. And He has called me to walk with you and pray for you.

 

You Have to Experience It (and Him) In Person

There are many iconic, must-see, bucket list places in America.... Niagara Falls, Yosemite, the Tetons, Great Smokey Mountains National Park, the Statue of Liberty and a host of others. But, no list of must-see/must-experience locations in the US would be complete if it didn't include the Grand Canyon.

My first time "seeing" the Grand Canyon was when the captain of the airplane on which I was traveling told us to look out of the right side windows as we flew over northern Arizona. Even from the cruising altitude we were flying, the extraordinary crevice in the earth's crust was clearly visible. I had my face pressed to the plastic window as long as it remained in our view. A few years later, our family vacationed in Arizona for about 10 days. Our base of operations was a condo in Flagstaff but, we spent one night in one of the lodges at the South Rim. We vacationed in Arizona a second time about 10 years later... and went back to the Grand Canyon again.

I obviously had seen dozens and dozens of photographs and videos of the Grand Canyon prior to going there. I had studied about how the canyon was formed by the Colorado River over millions of years. I knew all of the facts and figures about the Grand Canyon. People who had experienced it always said that all the photos and videos just did not do it justice. When folks would talk about their time there, you could just tell that they were trying to describe it accurately but it was usually with a bit of frustration... they almost didn't have the vocabulary to tell about their experience.

In 1990, I volunteered to go on a foreign mission trip to Panama with several folks from our church. I just woke up one morning and had an overwhelming sense of urgency... I needed to go on that trip. I really didn't understand why I was feeling this prodding. Prior to that morning, I had never considered going on a mission trip. It was an amazing week... our team was there to construct a church building so that the small church there no longer had to worship under a ragged tent. For about a week, our team laid row upon row of concrete block, mixed mortar with only a shovel (upon my return, Carol appreciated the transformation of my biceps,) and, most importantly, we interacted with the members of that church and small community. It was just a little after Christmas... it was the dry season, so the children were out of school and were always near us. The sweet people of the Santa Librada community loved on and blessed us as we labored with block and mortar and fell in love with our new friends. On Sunday we attended a worship service in the back yard of one of the members. The entire service was in Spanish and, except for a word here and there, the words were unknown to me. But something amazing happened. I knew exactly what God was saying to me that morning... as if He was sitting right next to me speaking in English. It was truly an encounter with God I had never previously known. I couldn't explain it then and I can't really explain it nearly 28 years later. I experienced something that I can only try to tell you about.

It's like our trips to the Grand Canyon. I can tell you all the things we did, the aroma of the desert and canyon, all of the sounds around us, the indescribable beauty and color of the canyon which we saw from the South Rim, from hiking down the trail, and from a helicopter flying from over the East Rim, up the Colorado River, over the North Rim, and back. But I would be describing my experience (at least as best I could) ... describing it through my eyes.

Today, I watched and heard (online streaming) my pastor from back in Georgia preach a sermon about Testifying... giving a Testimony. I immediately thought about the two experiences I have just written about above. As a Christian, by that very definition, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. That relationship has been, and continues to be, life changing for me. I can and do tell others about what my relationship with Jesus looks like, how it came to be, and what it means to me. That's my story... my testimony. Just like telling you about what happened to me in Panama... and my two trips at, over, and in the Grand Canyon. If you've never been to the Grand Canyon, it is good to read up about it, look at the photos and videos, read the brochures, and, maybe most importantly, listen to the people that have been there and have personal experience with it. But, to truly know it, you have to experience it yourself... in person.

If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, I can and will enthusiastically tell you about Jesus and what He has done in my life. How could I not share that with you? I can share the gospel story with you and I can also tell you my story.

But, you have to experience Him yourself..."in Person" if you will. My experience will not be your experience. My story will be different than your story. But I encourage you to see and experience Him for yourself. Then you can share your story. Testimony.

Hate

Look, I know I'm an old guy. Born in the post WWII era 1950's when we were largely uninformed about all the goings on in the world and even in our own communities. We relied on the nightly local and national network news, the hometown newspaper, and the ever present grapevine/ gossip to be informed. As kids and even teenagers, our parents kept us largely estranged from the hot topics of the day... I guess they figured there would be plenty of time for that when we lost our youthful naivete and had to face the harsh realities of the world around us. As we became older we learned that the world around us was imperfect and it illustrated many of the teachings of our faith upbringing. There were some bad and evil things out there.

One thing I vividly remember, however. We were taught to use the word "hate" very carefully. Hate was an emotion that was acceptable to express when talking about broccoli, or mosquitoes, or getting up early on Saturday, or losing, or meanness, or injustice, or other inanimate things, or wrong concepts, or hurtful behaviors. As Red Sox fans, we "hated" the Yankees... but not any specific player... just the "team" because they were our nemesis (I actually loved Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris even though I "hated" the team they played for.) If we ever said we hated another person, we were quickly reprimanded and reminded that we can hate how some people behave but, we were not supposed to ever hate another person.

Every adult with children has likely heard them say, "I hate you" at some point. It was usually heard when the child was very angry, or frustrated that they did not get the answer or thing they wanted, or had just received some disciplinary action. That's how children sometimes react when they don't get their way. No parent wants to hear their child tell them that they are hated. But most realize that it is an immature, impulsive reaction of a child that will later be remedied and withdrawn with a little time.

We tried to raise our own kids to not ever feel or say that they hated somebody. Our faith teaches us that every person is created by God and we are to love them... never to hate them regardless of how "hateful" they may act. Our kids were young (2-1/2 and 5) at the start of the first Gulf War. We had told our 5-year old what we thought was appropriate information about the war for someone that age. During prayers at bedtime they would go down the Ancestry.com list of every single family member and say God bless so and so, and so and so, and, and, and. Friends, neighbors, and pets were included. They also prayed for the soldiers. One night, out of the blue, our daughter said "and God bless Saddam Hussein and I pray that he will stop hurting other people." I'll be honest.... I hadn't ever prayed for Saddam Hussein. After all, he was an evil person who had murdered, tortured and even gassed his own people to death. I was reminded by a 5 year old that I'm not supposed to hate another person. Ever. Even an enemy. (Jesus told us to LOVE our enemies.)

A lot of hate is being spoken and violently acted upon against other people these days. Unfortunately, it isn't really anything new. People have been hating and hurting other people since the beginning of our existence. People hating people of different religious views, ethnicities, lifestyles, gender, ideologies, political views, economic positions, and an endless list of ways we are different from each other or hold differing opinions.

I don't want to hate anyone. So I'm resolving to relearn the lessons that I was taught as a child, that I tried to teach to my own children, and that we all need to live out as adults. Hating people is ignorant, hurtful, and wrong. Hating groups of people is ignorant, hurtful, and wrong. Shouting down the hate you see with hate of your own is not the remedy. Hate can never eliminate hate. Only Love can do that.

Render Unto Caesar...

The other day a scripture verse popped into my head and got me thinking about the relationship between the Church and the government.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus, in an attempt to trick Him, whether it was lawful to give tribute to Caesar, Jesus answered after showing them a Roman coin, "Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's." (Matt 20:21 KJV)

One of the debates over the meaning of this verse is in regards to whether this means that we should pay our taxes, obey laws passed by our government, and acknowledge the authority that our government and leaders represent. The apostle Paul, in writing to the church at Rome said, "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." (Rom 13:1 NIV)

Jesus also had much to say about how His followers were to treat others. Admonitions to love your neighbor (and your enemies,) to feed the poor, and to show mercy and kindness to the alien were things that Jesus told his followers to do. Who were His followers? Who are His followers today? Isn't it the body of believers that we commonly refer to as the Church? Didn't Jesus tell the Church that it was its responsibility to do these things? Does the Church today believe that it is still its responsibility?

Clearly, Jesus (and Paul) made distinctions between the Church and the governing authorities.

Today, there are many Christians in the US that believe that it is incumbent upon the government, through the taxing of its citizens, to fund and implement policies in order to fulfill the teachings of Jesus.

Jesus never told His followers to send money to Rome to accomplish what He clearly was holding His Church (His followers) accountable for. Somewhere along the way, we have, for the most part, replaced the Church with the Government when it comes to taking care of those whom Jesus told us to take care of.

Some Christians argue that the US government should have policies and programs in place to fulfill various social issues because that is what Jesus told His followers to do. But why the government and not our own Churches? And isn't it true that by making all citizens pay for these social programs, we are imposing Christian values on US citizens that may not necessarily embrace Christian teachings? When did the US government become a proxy for the Church?

I am all for Christians (which includes me) to follow the teachings and obey the commands of our Lord when it comes to how we are to treat and take care of those around us that are in need. I'm just a little uncomfortable when we outsource that job to Caesar.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the KING JAMES VERSION (KJV): KING JAMES VERSION, public domain

Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®. Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™. Used by permission of Zondervan

Three in One

"...God in three Persons, Blessed Trinity." If you have spent any time in a Christian worship service where hymns are sung, you have most likely sung the well known hymn, "Holy, Holy, Holy." The last line of the last stanza ends with those declarative words-- God in three Persons. Blessed Trinity.

The Trinity is one of the most difficult of Christian doctrines to understand, much less explain. I certainly am no expert on the subject. The concept of God as being One, yet being Three Persons has been a matter of study, discussion, and debate for as long as there have been followers of Jesus.  The three major monotheistic religions- Judaism, Islam and Christianity part ways when it comes to the doctrine of the Trinity.

Those that accept the doctrine of the Trinity understand that God is One, yet three Persons-- The Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Three Persons...distinct, yet One. Three in One; One in Three. Difficult to grasp.

When we teach children about the Trinity many times we will try to use analogies. A commonly taught analogy says that God is like the substance we know as water (H2O.) Water above 212 degrees becomes steam... but it is still water. Water that is below 32 degrees we call ice... but it is still water. Of course, in between those two temperatures we know the liquid form of water. See? Three forms of the same thing. Ice, water and steam... all H2O. But, like any analogy we try to use to explain God, this one doesn't work all that well because we are merely describing three "forms" of water. The three Persons of the Trinity are not merely "forms" of God.

I drew a chart that I had seen many years ago that was helpful to me in teaching about the Trinity:

the Trinity

When we say that the three Persons of the Trinity are distinct it means exactly that. God The Father is NOT Jesus the Son. And Jesus is NOT the Holy Spirit just as the Holy Spirit is NOT The Father. But, The Father IS God. Jesus IS God. And the Holy Spirit IS God. And there is only One God.

Total Solar Eclipse 2017

A little over a week ago millions in the US were fortunate to observe the solar eclipse. What an incredible sight and experience that was, especially if you were able to witness the total eclipse for maximum duration. Maybe you remember all of the warnings about using proper eye protection in order to not damage your retinas by staring too long unprotected from the UV radiation. UV radiation is invisible but can cause a photochemical reaction that can damage the receptors of the retina.

The eclipse reminded me of another analogy sometimes used to explain the Trinity. It is the one I like the best.

Think of the sun as representing God. We can think of the physical star itself as being The Father, however we cannot actually see it (forget for a moment those fancy scientists with all their fancy equipment.) When we gaze up to the sun, we cannot actually see the star itself.... but it is there.

the light of the sun

What we can see is the light of the sun. We can equate this to Jesus. If we want to know what God is, we can look at and see Jesus. Jesus is described in scripture as the Light of the World. Jesus is what (whom) we see... like the light of the sun. But the sun also has power. In addition to those UV rays, the sun also emits an incredible amount of heat... solar energy. We have even figured out how to turn that solar energy into electricity. We can't really see the sun's power. But we can experience it, use it, and feel it.

With the naked eye, no one can see the star we call the sun. It's way too bright to even look upon for more than a couple of seconds. What we can see is the light that the sun emits. The light that chases away the darkness. The light that gives and sustains life allowing all creation to live and grow. The light that saves the world. And we know that the power of the sun is there because we can feel it, experience it, and we see the powerful things it can do. Yes, I like this particular analogy because I am reminded of the presence and faithfulness of God every time I see the sun rise in the morning. It takes away the darkness of night. It gives life. And when I feel the warmth of the sun on my face it reminds me that the Holy Spirit is very much present and provides power and strength.

God in three Persons, Blessed Trinity.

Sadness

Memorial at Emanuel AME Church (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Paul Ekman, noted American psychologist, has described the six basic human emotions as: happiness, anger, surprise, fear, disgust and sadness. In the 1990's he added the following 11 emotions to his list: amusement, contempt, contentment, embarrassment, excitement, guilt, pride in achievement, relief, satisfaction, sensory pleasure, and shame.

When I heard what happened this past week in Charleston, SC, I, like so many of you, had an emotional reaction. My immediate feeling was surprise. My goodness, nine innocent people in a church studying the bible were gunned down and killed by a young man who had been invited into their circle. Gunned down in a church! Almost immediately I was also (and still am) overwhelmed by sadness. I cannot imagine the gut-wrenching pain that the family and friends of the victims must be experiencing. All of Charleston must be hurting. People all over America are hurting.

As I learned more about who the victims were and who the suspect was, other emotions rose up in me. Nine African Americans were killed by a young, racist white man in the southern United States. A white person was involved in perpetrating violence upon blacks in a church. Unfortunately, this is nothing new in the United States. My mind raced back to my childhood years when I read news stories of black churches being bombed and burned and people being tortured and killed at the hands of racist whites. I am a white man. Even though I cannot grasp and have never known the kind of hatred that it must take to commit such heinous acts; nevertheless, I felt and continue to feel disgust, anger, guilt and shame.

It is tempting to argue that we casual observers have no responsibility in what happened. I am not responsible for the actions of another person. Each of us must account for our own actions. I know that. But, we all contribute to the landscape of our collective environment, even if in only small and subtle ways. It's not our fault we say. We would never do that, we say. We can't do anything about that, we say.

So nothing changes.

I feel such a sadness for what is happening in my country right now. I know all the emotions I experience each day. While my life is by no means perfect, it is a pretty good life, especially when contrasted to what others in our society experience. Honestly, I am usually so focused on what is going on in my little circle, I tend to not think much about others. Or to do much for others. People struggling? It's easier to rationalize that it's their own fault. People hurting? Let someone else deal with it. It's not my responsibility.

Did I contribute to a culture and a disharmony that may have moved this very disturbed, young man over a line that no one should ever cross? I don't know. But if I have contributed in any way, I cannot apologize enough to relieve the guilt and shame that reality would generate.

Those folks in Charleston invited this young man into their circle of friendship and fellowship. Jesus knows something about people within his invited circle turning on Him. And like Jesus, this community in Charleston has demonstrated forgiveness and compassion which leads me to experience something that Paul Ekman never itemized on his list.... hope.

I want us to be better. I want to be better. I want to see as Jesus sees. I want to love as Jesus loves. Lord, help me to be more like You and less like I am right now.

You may not identify with anything I have said here so forgive me because I just needed to write it out. For me.

Are You Part of a Famous Family?

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Henry Ford

Teddy Roosevelt

William Rockefeller

Cornelius Vanderbilt

Do you ever wonder what it is like to be closely related to a very famous person? I don't mean famous in the smaller sense, I mean famous as in being written about in history books and having documentaries and even movies made about you. Do you ever think about what it was like being the son or daughter of a Vanderbilt or Roosevelt or Rockefeller? What if you were related to Martin Luther King or Henry Ford or Bill Gates?

Bill Gates

Let’s say the famous person was your grandfather and he was an important part of your life for many years… in fact, he is still alive today and he is still an important part of your life. As you matured, you were able to get to know him as more than just a relative or a famous someone that others had heard about…you are able to spend time talking with your grandfather and learning more and more about him. Your grandfather shared things with you that have helped you navigate your life and you know deep in the deepest part of your heart how much you love him and how much you are loved by him. Even though he is extremely well known and famous, to you he is almost like your closest friend and you know that you are a very important part of his very large family. You are aware that his fame came with sacrifice to himself personally but, he was willing to do it because he knew that the people that came after him would benefit from what he did.

I often wonder how people that are related to very famous people talk about them when people inquire. If someone asked about your famous grandfather, would your first inclination be to recite the many things written about him in the history books? Would you describe his accomplishments and talk about what he has done? Or would you just tell them who your grandfather is to you and share what an incredible influence he has had on you and in your life? Would you talk about his nature and tell about the reasons that you love him so much. Would you describe what it is like to be a part of his family? I wonder. See, I think people that are closely related to famous people see them not necessarily as others see them…not the way the writers of history books and movies see them. They know them intimately.

I don't know about you but I don't have any famous people in my family. You won’t read the name Toomey in any history books. The only “famous” Toomeys I know are/ were Regis Toomey (an actor), Bill Toomey (won the decathlon in the 1968 Olympics), and Pat Toomey (a politician in Pennsylvania.) So the hypothetical question I have posed is not one that I have ever had to address.

But, you know what? I am related to a famous person, written about in history books, portrayed in movies and known the world over. His name is Jesus. And I am a part of His family.

When I talk to others about Jesus do I recite what has been written about Him in history books or do I tell people about the relationship I have and the incredible influence He has made in my life? Are you related to anyone famous?

Amazing Grace

Sin. You realize that this word really has only one definition, right? I mean, we can use it in our day-to-day conversation in ways that somehow muddy up its meaning. “Did you eat any of that chocolate dessert? It’s absolutely sinful!” [Cake isn't sinful.] “It’s just a sin that everyone wasn't able to get into that concert…it was that good!” [Inability to get into a concert isn't a sin.]

Here’s the thing about sin. None of us avoid it. All of us commit it. But here’s another thing… we seem to be more concerned [maybe even obsessed] with the sin of others than our own. [Jesus used the illustration of the speck in someone else’s eye versus the log in your own.] Do I have a log in my eye? Of course I do. But I like it better if I can rationalize that the speck is in my eye and the log is in yours.

Hey, Westboro Baptist Church- do you want to demonstrate in front of a place where sinners are? Then why aren't you carrying signs out in front of my house? I mean, there are only three of us here right now but... my house is occupied 100% by sinners.

By the way, have you seen the “Official Sin Grading Scale” that ranks sins from top to bottom…from least to first? I bet it’s an even better read than Letterman’s Top 10 List. I’m kidding…there really isn't an official sin grading scale. But there IS an unofficial list. We all have made one. The thing is…my most common sins are (fortunately) not in the top 10 on my list (I’m glad I’m using my grading scale otherwise….geesh I’d feel pretty filthy and unworthy.)

The trouble is that Sin # 8,341,890 on my list had the same effect on my relationship with God as Sin #1. It means that I am 100% disobedient. I know, I know…this doesn't quite seem fair...to us. Sin #1 is far more detestable (to me) than Sin #8,341,890. But I’m not the One that has been offended. I don’t get to set the standard. The One who created me does. Tell one lie and I am a liar. Lust one time and I am an adulterer (that’s right…adulterer.) Think one immoral thought and I’m a deviant. Withhold one thing from someone in need and I am a thief. And murderer? By Jesus’ standard, I am that too.

The good news? The REALLY, REALLY good news? God does not condemn me for my sins. Why? Because of the saving work of Jesus on the cross and my acceptance of His gift of grace, my sins yesterday, my sins today, and my sins tomorrow are forgiven. I have been pardoned. You might not forgive me for my sins and I certainly can understand that. I too struggle with the sin I see all around me. I want people to stop sinning. I especially want myself to stop sinning. I can definitely relate to Paul who wrote in his letter to the church at Rome: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do. But what I hate, I do." (Romans 7:15 NIV) But, I come back to this point…why am I so concerned with the sin around me and seemingly less concerned about the sin within my own heart? Maybe it makes me feel better about myself. Thankfully, God hasn't deputized me to be His law enforcer. If He did, my first action would have to be locking myself in jail... marking a swift end to my career in law enforcement.

58 years ago, when I was born unexpectedly early in a little town hospital in Maine weighing only 3 pounds; for some reason, God saved me from most certain death. The priest had been summoned to baptize and pray some last rites over me. But I was spared. 29 long years later I asked Jesus to take my life and He saved me all over again...but this time for eternity. And since then, sin separates me from Him no more.

Nobody ever wrote a song titled "Amazing Law."

It’s called Grace. Amazing Grace.

A King With Worms

I don't see any worms?

I know this is a strange blog title and you may be wondering if I am merely using it metaphorically. Nope. This is about a king... and worms.

You know... these days there aren't nearly as many kings lording over countries as there were back in the olden days. And, even in those countries that still have kings and queens, most times the country is actually run by a parliament, prime minister or other political apparatus.

England in the late 1400's was ruled by a king. King Richard III was the monarch of the British Empire for all of 2 years. He died in battle in 1485, seven years before Christopher Columbus sailed to the West Indies and founded the Sandals Resorts in the Caribbean.

A year ago, King Richard's remains were discovered... underneath the Grey Friars Church parking lot in Leicester, England. I know it's not really funny but...I keep thinking about that song that says "they paved Paradise...put up a parking lot."

Seems in 1935, they believed that they had discovered Richard when a leaden coffin and skeletal remains were discovered at the ruins of the Church of St. Mary in Leicester. Turns out...it wasn't Richard III....or any Richard for that matter.

The under-the-parking-lot remains found last year have been scientifically shown to be the real deal. The DNA from the remains match samples from modern day descendants and the skeleton shows signs of scoliosis (twisted spine) as well as eight battle wounds to the head...all consistent with what is known about him. But it seems old Richard had something else going on before he died.

He had worms.

Now, if your stomach didn't just now turn a bit...well, I'm not sure what to think.

The evidence from the remains most likely shows that Richard suffered from roundworms (roundworm eggs are quite hardy and resist decomposition and erosion.) Chances are the good king ingested roundworm eggs from food that was contaminated with...well.....poo. Roundworms (Ascaris lumbricoides) can live in the gut and its eggs follow your southbound highway back out to the light of day. Unfortunately, the light of day is where food is grown and handled and where most of our poor sanitary habits take place.

In 2013, we don't think of human beings as having these nasty, parasitic creatures living inside of us. We don't see them but we can certainly see the evidence of their existence. And then we can spread it around for others to possibly get. In fact, while roundworm is very uncommon in humans in the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 1.2 billion people worldwide suffer from roundworm. Yes, billion with a "b." The World Health Organization claims that roundworm claims 60,000 lives each year. Tragically, most are children.

In the 1400's, it didn't matter if you were a mere serf toiling in the fields, a prisoner chained to a wall in some prison, a wealthy landowner and noble...or even a king. You were not immune to the possibility of something inside of you that could kill you and that you could share with those around you because of your own and their poor habits. Richard's physical death was not caused by this thing inside of him which was eating him away. No, he was fortunate to die in battle. His predecessor, King Richard I may have had the heart of a Lion...but King Richard III had the gut of a hound.

Most likely, you and I don't have roundworm. But, as humans, we were born carrying around something more insidious inside of us that doesn't discriminate between young or old, rich or poor, man or woman. Even if we had not been born with it, we would have, because of our nature, freely ingested it at some point. And, because we have it, it affects the people around us. And, left untreated, it brings death.

Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"
Romans 6:23 says "for the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord"

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

A Life Well Lived

I am hesitant to write a blog about a good friend that passed away yesterday. My hesitancy is out of concern that I will do an injustice by not having the right words or that I will somehow dishonor his memory because of my lack of skill in articulating what is on my heart.

I consider myself incredibly blessed to have known Jake Malone and to call him my friend. My friendship with Jake began when Carol and I joined First Baptist Church of Augusta, Georgia way back in the early 1980's. Jake was one of the ministers on staff then and continued to be until early this year when he was diagnosed with cancer and his health no longer allowed him to work. He served First Baptist for 33 years in many ministry areas...youth, recreation, senior adults and church administration. But Jake's influence on First Baptist (and folks all over the community and world for that matter) went far beyond his ministry titles or specific job duties in those roles. With the support (and I'm sure gentle prodding now and then) of his loving ministry partner Delores, his wife of 44 years, Jake showed us what loving Jesus and serving Jesus looks like.

Jake was a lover of people because I think he took very seriously Jesus' command to us to love others. But I don't think Jake loved out of a sense of obligation. He just had that kind of heart. Jake demonstrated that love sometimes with bear hugs (and that is the only appropriate description for a hug from Jake Malone,) big smiles, a listening ear, a prayer with you, gentle advice, firm guidance, great encouragement and a genuineness that few people possess.

Not sure how people felt about Jake Malone? If you have a Facebook account, log in and look up his Facebook page (I apologize if you can't access it.) Read the comments. Read the testimonies from people from all over the world that were touched by this wonderful man. I will never forget the countless times Jake spoke words to me, often with tears in his eyes, that were intended to lift me up, to encourage me, to make me feel like I was special. But I also think that Jake was simply speaking the words that he thought Jesus would speak to me if He were sitting in front of me.

Jake was by no means a perfect man. He would be the first one to admit that. But he had a perfect Savior and Jake tried to live a life that was in accordance with how he thought God wanted him to live.

That's a life well lived.

Matthew 22:36-40

New International Version (NIV)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

We want to know why

Life is full of events and circumstances that generate the question, "why?" Humans have a yearning to understand things. We ask "why?" a lot.

The massacre at a Colorado movie theater has us asking this question again. What happens in the human mind and soul that compels a person to do a heinous act like that? Some say that he must just be crazy. What is crazy? I'm sure that psychiatrists have a definition but I doubt they still use the word "crazy" ...that's for us laymen.

We want answers. Why did he do this? How can we prevent this from ever happening again? What influences in his life stimulated this violence? THERE HAS TO BE A REASON!

Even in these few days since the shooting, opinions are flying around like gnats at a Georgia picnic.

Some have said that the newest Batman/Dark Knight Rises movie that was premiering at the theater was to blame. The shooter must have been obsessed with one of the violent movie characters. Others have suggested that our ultra-discourteous, partisan, downright mean public discourse is to blame (even Rush Limbaugh was singled out as a cause.) I think I read that someone was blaming the Tea Party. There is a picture floating around on Facebook that alleges to be James Holmes being hauled away at an Occupy San Diego protest (it is a hoax, I believe.) It's the Republicans' fault...no it's the Democrats' fault. Obama is to blame...no, Romney is to blame.

This sounds like a school yard argument.

Of course, the 2nd Amendment is once again being dragged into the discussion. That pesky Constitutional right that our forefathers were compelled to add to the Constitution is being characterized as the scapegoat. If people were not able to have access to all these guns, people would stop shooting each other (they say.) I've seen the statistics of the gun deaths in other countries that have gun control laws compared to those in the United States. Looks pretty clear to me...guns have made Americans violent, crazy and murderous. Right. On the other hand, gun rights advocates say that if there was someone else in that theater that had a carry permit and was actually carrying a gun (the theater chain does not allow guns in their theaters even with a permit) maybe the shooter could have been stopped before he did as much harm. We'll never know.

Just like in other instances when we see the worst of human behavior, we quickly jump to the answers that fit our own ideological biases. Political types want to know whether he leaned to the Democrat side or the Republican side as if that would allow them to brag that their political opponent's platform is causing mass murder. Shameful thinking. Someone in a dark room is wondering how this can be used in an advertisement to make their political opponent look bad. News anchors and talking heads are falling all over themselves to get the better news scoop so that their ratings and paychecks will move in the same direction. Disgusting.

There are families in Aurora, Colorado that are hurting in ways most of us can never comprehend. In the meantime, the rest of us are posting Facebook pictures with edgy captions about the incident that we think cleverly answer the why question. Twitterland, I'm sure, is full of 140 character epiphanies about the reasons for the tragedy. It's like we have come up on a wreck on the Interstate and we can't help but rubberneck...and do our 15 second evaluations... "must have been driving too fast", "Oh, I'm sure he was drinking", "I bet she was sending a text message." And I am writing this blog so I guess, I'm no better...

Maybe James Holmes will eventually articulate why he did what he did. Doctors may eventually determine that he is mentally ill.

In the meantime, I will accept what I already know from what my Bible and 56 years of living tell me. Evil exists. Humans are capable of doing things that most of us cannot understand. It has happened before. Unfortunately, it will happen again.

In the meantime, let's lift up these Aurora families in prayer. Pray also that people all around the world will come to know Jesus, the Prince of Peace and that, through that re-birth, human hearts will change. That's the only real solution.

Is Tim Tebow for real?

After I graduated from high school, the next stop on my education path was in Athens, Georgia. Despite my stay there being relatively short-lived, the red and black became a permanent love of mine. So, being a Bulldawg, it was not in vogue to be a Tim Tebow fan while he was a Florida Gator. But, I will confess, I was silently cheering for him (except during the GA/FL game.)

Why would I cheer for him? Because Tim Tebow is the real deal. He obviously is an extremely talented athlete. He is a fierce competitor. He loves playing football. But he has been attacked from almost all sides. I can't remember any other standout athlete that has been mocked and ridiculed like Tim Tebow. His critics (that may not even be a strong enough description) cheer any and all failures he experiences. They want him to fail...not just fail, fail miserably. Just what has Tim Tebow done to deserve the vitriol?

Tebow is a devout Christian. He makes no apologies for his faith or the way he lives his life. He wore bible verses on his eye black. He gave praise to God whenever he was interviewed. He bent down on one knee in prayer when he scored, presumably giving thanks to God. He confidently stated that he and his teammates would be the hardest working college football team. Braggart? I don't think so.

We have heard the story of his mother refusing the doctor's suggestion that she abort her high-risk pregnancy (when pregnant with Tim.) We watched the commercial during a recent Super Bowl that shared that story and celebrated life. Prior to the airing of the commercial, the pro-choice folks went nuts over the idea that the commercial would be allowed on TV. Once it finally did air, I never heard another word about it because who could criticize the message of the commercial?

When Tebow entered the draft many said that he was not NFL material... he couldn't learn to take snaps from under center, his throwing motion was a mess and he just didn't have the juice to be a pro quarterback. Will he be a successful pro quarterback? I don't know. But I hope so because the NFL needs people like Tim Tebow.

So why all the criticism; hatred even towards Tebow? I think it is because Tim Tebow makes us uncomfortable. He seems too good to be true...or maybe just "too good." He is too nice, too polite, too devout, too humble, too demonstrative in his faith, too squeaky clean and that makes us uncomfortable. What does that say about him? More importantly, what does that say about us?

I have no illusions about Tim Tebow being perfect. I am certain that he would tell you that he is far from perfect. He would say that he is a sinner, saved by the grace of a merciful God. Many people are just waiting for him to do something that defies his profession of his faith. They are just waiting for any misstep. Unfortunately, that day will probably come and they will shout "Aha...see there, Tim Tebow is just like the rest of us...he's not so perfect now is he?" And they will feel better about themselves.

I will continue to cheer and admire Tim Tebow. Not because he is a great athlete but rather because he is trying to live his life as a follower of Christ and use every opportunity to share with others not who he is, but whose he is. That makes him a winner in my book.

Read what Jill Kelly (wife of former Buffalo Bills QB Jim Kelly) has to say about Tim Tebow