Will we learn anything from Penn State?

You would think that there would be universal agreement that Penn State's trustees finally have done the right thing (albeit so long after the damage has unfortunately been done) in the recent firings that included famed football coach Joe Paterno. But that isn't the case. Penn State student rioting and commentary in the blogosphere show that some think that Penn State acted unfairly in the Paterno matter. He deserved better, they say. Wow...we all certainly share different sets of priorities. Football coaches are elevated to pretty lofty heights. Maybe, in our culture, this is part of the problem.

Can we agree though that all institutions will learn something in all this? Can we agree that we, as individuals, will learn something from this tragedy? The sexual abuse of children is a scar on the land. I know that the very mention of it makes us cringe and feel very uncomfortable. We don't like to talk about it because there is something so sick about it. BUT WE MUST TALK ABOUT IT! It is real...it happens...and it happens far too often.

If you run an organization, do you have policies to deal with this? First off, do you do everything reasonably possible to prevent it? Do you scrutinize who gets to work with children? Do you have guidelines and procedures preventing a solitary adult from being alone with a child or children? Do you have windows in all doors of rooms that contain children? Do you train your workers and volunteers on what is appropriate and what is not activity-wise?

What are people supposed to do if they become aware of abuse? What are they supposed to do if a child tells them that something has happened? Are you not sure? Well, get busy and talk to some experts that can help you craft some policies and procedures...then put them into practice. People often become paralyzed in these situations out of fear that an adult may be wrongly accused. It isn't your job to decide if allegations are true or not. It is your job to report to the proper authorities when you are made aware of or if you witness abuse. The authorities know how to handle these situations. And if you are going to error, error on the side of protecting the child. If someone was bleeding profusely or having a heart attack would you first call your boss or 911? The analogy applies.

On a practical level I would suggest parents of children pay attention to anyone that interacts directly with your child...coaches, counselors, teachers, ministers, babysitters, day care workers. Ask your children open ended questions about their day. "Did anything interesting happen today?" "How do you like Mr. Smith?" "Does Miss Susie treat you well?" "What do you not like about playing on the baseball team?" Don't expect that your child would just volunteer information if they have been abused. Often times, the abuser has made threats to harm family members if the child ever speaks about it. Your child, in his or her silence, is trying to protect you. Be as brave as your child in protecting him or her.

All of us know adults that were mistreated as children. They still carry the scars. If they have shared their story with you ask them what could have been done to prevent it or kept it from happening again. Many will tell you that, if a caring adult had been paying attention or believed them, the situation could have been less worse.

For the benefit of all the children out there, let's please learn something from this before this story is replaced by the next big news story that captures our attention.