They call it tolerance

In my last blog I discussed the different meanings of the word "compromise." There is another word I have some issues with relative to the way it is used...the word is TOLERANCE (and its various forms.)

I do not consider myself an intolerant person (so therefore, I am tolerant?) That declaration requires, however, that my understanding of the words intolerant and tolerant be accurate, otherwise it is likely I am making an inaccurate declaration.

Can we be "tolerant" on the one hand but still legitimately be able to state that there are some things we just won't tolerate? Doesn't the practice of tolerance, therefore, have some "reasonable" limitations?

So what does the word even mean? There are various online dictionaries but I usually try to stick with ones that also have printed versions that I am familiar with...tried and true if you will. Merriam- Webster online defines "tolerate" this way and in this order:
1. to endure or resist the action of (as a drug or food) without serious side effects or discomfort
2.a. to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction
2.b. to put up with

The Macmillan Dictionary has the first 3 definitions as follows:
1. to allow someone to do something you do not like or approve of
2. to accept something unpleasant without becoming impatient or angry
2a. to accept someone without welcoming them or liking them

People accuse one another of not being tolerant without mutual agreement of what the word even means.  I suppose there are things, people, behaviors, ideas that are worthy of tolerance and others that are not. Is the line of demarcation between the two immovable...does it or should it change? Who gets to decide? If you tell me I must be tolerant you probably must also require me to accept your meaning of the word. No fair.

What are some things you believe that you can not or should not tolerate? How about racism? I strongly believe that it should not be tolerated but, what can I really do about it (other than not practice it myself?) I have no power to "not tolerate" it. I can only not tolerate it in my own heart and head. I can refuse to associate with people that I am aware are racist but, is that really "not tolerating" it? I can vote for laws that apply but still, how am I not tolerating it?

What are some things that you can or should tolerate? By definition, it has to be something you do not like or don't approve of. To "tolerate" something requires that you continue to dislike or disapprove of but allow it to exist or be practiced without interference, prohibition or hindrance. If I were to change my mind about the issue, I would no longer be merely tolerating "it." I could now be ambivalent about it or embrace it...but it would no longer be accurate to say I was "tolerating" it.

We are told that we should be tolerant of various things or beliefs and I can generally agree with that. But you cannot say I am not being tolerant if I continue to disagree. By definition of the word...it is actually required!

So, what you really want is not for me to be tolerant but rather to change my mind/ opinion and to now agree with you. Sorry...you can appropriately accuse me of being hard-headed, stubborn or even dead wrong, but you can't say I am intolerant if I do not do anything that prohibits you from doing or believing whatever it is we disagree on. Am I right?