I call them screamers...

I was born back in the old days...back when TV was only black and white and everybody smoked. I think parenting styles have changed a little since I was a kid. Back in my day, the only time you heard anyone say "time-out" was in the middle of a sporting event. But, don't get me wrong...I am in favor of parents doing what is most effective (and basically legal) in raising their kids. Parenting is hard work. Kids can be a challenge and often times act like...well...like kids. So here's my beef. How many times have you been in a restaurant or some other public place and somebody's kid is running around the tables or jumping up and down on the chairs and the parents do....nothing? I mean, they yell at the kid and tell him/her if he/she does "that" one more time (they must actually mean a hundred more times), the kid is going to get whatever it is Mom or Dad is threatening him/her with. But then what happens? NOTHING! The kid continues on with the rampage and Mom or Dad yells the same threat over and over...but does ...nothing. Because doing something means inconveniencing yourself by having to stop eating, stop talking , stop watching...whatever you are too busy with to deal with your kid. I guess it is easier to just keep screaming idle threats. I call these parents - screamers. I'll admit..when our kids were growing up we used the "count to three" method (getting to three was not going to be fun for said child.) I think it effectively acknowledged the natural procrastination in all of us. Why do (or stop doing) something right away when you can get a 2.9 second reprieve? You gotta give a little...

If you are going to give your child an "if - then" statement ( [If] you do that again [then] you will spend the rest of the night in your room) how about actually following through on it? Children need to know there are boundaries and know what acceptable behaviors are. I've worked with enough teens over the years to know that deep down they crave parents who care enough to say no and appropriately discipline them, even though they may never admit that to their parents. One high school age young woman my wife and I were counseling told us that she wished her parents cared enough to tell her she couldn't stay out all night. Her staying out all night was her form of rebelling against parents she believed didn't care.

If you are a parent...God bless you. It is a long, hard, (but incredibly rewarding) job.
You can't bail out.
And PLEASE...don't be a screamer!

-Mike