Unequivocal

Crystal clear

Big word. This one will score you big points in Scrabble. It can also score you big points if you are trying to be clear and committed.

Here is how the English Oxford dictionary defines it:

"leaving no doubt, unambiguous"

Merriam-Webster adds the word "clear" to the definition.

Collins English Dictionary says: "If you describe someone's attitude as unequivocal, you mean that it is completely clear and very firm."

Maybe, when you were a kid, your mom or dad instructed you on something important and then asked you, "is this crystal clear?" You knew they were serious and it was important that you understood. Because... there is clear... and then there is crystal clear. Unequivocal is crystal clear.

Some statements deserve unequivocation. Things like apologies. If you apologize and then add the word "but" followed by some further commentary... you may not have truly apologized.

When President Trump commented in response to the threats made by North Korea's Kim Jong-un, he was unequivocal. It was important to give a clear message.

President Trump had the opportunity to deliver a clear message to the white supremacists that gathered in Charlottesville, VA. Yes, they have the First Amendment right to deliver their message even if it is a hateful one. Yes, they have the right to protest and demonstrate. The rights contained in our Bill of Rights can sometimes be messy that way. Calling out a group of racists does not, however, require you to call out another group of people on the opposite side of the argument/ cause that may have responded badly. That's equivocation. And that's what he did.

I condemn in the strongest way the attitude and message of white supremacists. Their message is particularly dangerous. It is dangerous because whites make up about 70% of our population and the opportunity exists for their message to gain traction or to gain sympathizers. We can't allow that to happen. Some of what they say sounds appealing to those who would never consider themselves to be racist. Some can become sympathetic because of the actions and statements of those who confront them. But we can never be sympathetic to white supremacists because, at their core, they believe that another group of people is inferior or undeserving of equal treatment. Many of them identify as Nazis for a reason. History has seen this before.

Unfortunately, they and their predecessors have always been around. Our country has a painful history of slavery and terrible attitudes and actions towards African-Americans. I remember as an 11 year old watching fully hooded KKK members marching through the street in Beaufort, SC. I didn't understand the message and hatred then and I don't understand it now.

Any statement that suggests that "this group is just as wrong as that group" reeks of equivocation.

Condemning racism requires you to be clear. Speak in the strongest of language. No "if, ands or buts"

The Way Things Used To Be

"Why can't things be the way they used to be?" "I wish we could could go back to the good old days." Have you ever heard anyone say this? My guess is you've heard it a lot recently. Maybe you have even said it yourself. Certainly we all can get nostalgic for times in the past when life seemed simpler. In many cases it is a desire to go back to a time when we were younger... maybe when our grandparents or maybe even our parents were still alive. On the other hand, it may be a time when you felt more comfortable, more in control, more in charge of things.

So if you have a yearning to reverse course and go back to the "way things used to be," I'd be curious to know what time in your past you specifically are talking about. What time in American history do you consider to be the "good old days?"

Unless you are over 100 years old, the earliest a very small number of you may look back on fondly would be the 1930's. Not to give a history lesson here but, I believe the 1930's was one of the toughest decades in our history. The Great Depression began at the end of the prior decade so, unless you were unaffected by the stock market crash, bank closures and job losses, you experienced some serious financial hardships, possible homelessness and hunger during those years. The Great Plains states suffered through the Dust Bowl causing many to lose everything and forcing them to uproot their families and head to California seeking opportunity. Unemployment in the US was as high as 50% for African-Americans (who, if they had jobs, were generally paid 30% less than whites) while the rest of America experienced 30% unemployment. Other minorities in America also suffered as many whites felt that any job held by a minority was taking their rightful job away from them. Lynchings of blacks continued into the 1930's. Congress attempted to pass anti-lynching legislation but it was thwarted by Southern legislators.

Of course, you may mean the 1940's as the times in which you'd like to return. Hitler invaded Poland on September 1, 1939 and World War II began, throwing the world into war in the 1940's. The Japanese surprise attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. Within 3 days the US entered the war, declaring war on Japan as well as Germany and Italy. 110,000 Japanese, most of whom were loyal Americans (75,000 were US citizens,) were rounded up and placed in detention camps because of their Japanese ancestry. Over 400,000 Americans were killed during the war. Many more times than that were wounded. Race riots in Detroit and Harlem in 1943 caused 40 deaths and 700 injuries. Racial segregation continued to exist in the 1940's. In 1945, California passed legislation "prohibiting marriage between whites and 'Negroes, mulattos, Mongolians, and Malays.'" Equal treatment for women in the workplace was not practiced nor required in the 1940's. Good times.

You probably mean the 1950's. World War II was over for nearly 5 years but the Cold War was already in full swing. Six months into the 1950's, North Korea crossed the 38th parallel invading South Korea thus beginning the Korean War. Nearly 40,000 Americans died and over 100,000 were wounded in the three years before the cease fire was finally agreed upon. The US began its presence in Vietnam by providing training to the South Vietnamese. The US Supreme Court ruled in 1954 that racial segregation in public schools was unconstitutional. Southern states continue their fight to keep schools segregated. In 1957, Arkansas National Guard troops are ordered by the governor to Little Rock to prevent nine black students from attending Central High, an all-white school. In December 1955, Rosa Parks refuses to give up her seat (in the "colored" section) to a white man on a Montgomery, AL bus after the whites-only section had filled up. Her act of defiance and the later bus boycott gives traction to the modern civil rights movement. Many look fondly on the 1950's as the US economy rebounded from the war years. Unfortunately, minorities who fought bravely during WWII and Korea were still treated as second class citizens at home. Might have been the good old days for you... not so much for them.

So maybe you are talking about the 1960's? John F. Kennedy, the space race (eventually landing a man on the moon in 1969,) and the explosion of pop music of many persuasions, television, and cool cars were notables of the 1960's. Civil rights legislation passed through Congress banning discrimination in jobs, voting and accommodation. President Johnson signs the Voting Rights Act of 1965, to include outlawing the requirement of potential voters to pass a literacy test. Thurgood Marshall becomes the first black Supreme Court justice in 1967. But the 1960's also produces the Bay of Pigs debacle in Cuba and the resulting Cuban Missile crisis, where the US and Russia were on the brink of nuclear war. US involvement in Vietnam escalates to the point of over 300,000 US troops involved. Over 50,000 would die before the war ends. Assassinations of President John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King and presidential hopeful Senator Robert F. Kennedy all occur in the 1960's. Racial tensions remained very high with race riots occurring all over the country. The notion of racial equality continued to be vigorously challenged throughout portions of the United States. So much occurred during the 1960's that itemization of the events seems almost impossible. To say the 1960's were turbulent would be a gross understatement. Were these the the good old days you speak of?

The 70's saw the end of the Vietnam war and the shunning of many of its veterans. Spit upon and called baby killers, these soldiers never experienced the affection from their country afforded to their WWII and Korean war predecessors. The 70's were when we learned of the Watergate scandal eventually leading to the resignation of President Richard Nixon as well as the conviction of many of his top aides including the former Attorney General John Mitchell. In a very controversial move, Nixon was pardoned by President Gerald Ford who had assumed the presidency upon Nixon's resignation. Four students, protesting the Vietnam war at Kent State University, were shot and killed by National Guard troops. The Supreme Court ruled in Roe vs. Wade that a state cannot prevent a woman from having an abortion performed during the first six months of pregnancy. The 1970's sees the Middle East oil embargo causing significant gas shortages and further tensions in that region. Sixty-three American embassy workers are taken hostage by Iran. Popularity of disco music and bell bottoms become widespread in the 1970's...enough said about that. In a hugely surprising election, former Governor of Georgia Jimmy Carter is elected president in 1976. The economy falls into recession and mortgage interest rates begin a rise that peaks in the early 1980's. Do you want to return to the 1970's?

Rather than continuing this decade by decade itemization, let me ask a question. If you are white and are yearning for things to be "like they used to be," what do you mean? Because I don't hear black people talking about the "good old days." As Americans, shouldn't the good old days be good old days for all of us? If you are white and believe that this country primarily belongs to you, I vigorously reject your thinking and attitude. This is supposed to be a country of us. Stop trying to defend things in our past that are indefensible. Stop trying to find moral equivalences in every situation. Stop using the word "them" with disgust in your voice. Stop relying on politicians to solve what is wrong in our country. Examine your own heart. Be honest. Whites comprise an overwhelming majority in this country. If you are white and have lived in the US your whole life, you have no idea what it is like to live as a minority. You may want to believe that the inequality that minorities experience is entirely of their own making but then I would say you are delusional. If you think that legislation can eliminate this reality you are wrong. No law can make a person respect and perceive another as an equal. But that's what our American covenant with one another says we are to do. The good old days are a work in progress. They are not in the past.

Sadness

Memorial at Emanuel AME Church (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Paul Ekman, noted American psychologist, has described the six basic human emotions as: happiness, anger, surprise, fear, disgust and sadness. In the 1990's he added the following 11 emotions to his list: amusement, contempt, contentment, embarrassment, excitement, guilt, pride in achievement, relief, satisfaction, sensory pleasure, and shame.

When I heard what happened this past week in Charleston, SC, I, like so many of you, had an emotional reaction. My immediate feeling was surprise. My goodness, nine innocent people in a church studying the bible were gunned down and killed by a young man who had been invited into their circle. Gunned down in a church! Almost immediately I was also (and still am) overwhelmed by sadness. I cannot imagine the gut-wrenching pain that the family and friends of the victims must be experiencing. All of Charleston must be hurting. People all over America are hurting.

As I learned more about who the victims were and who the suspect was, other emotions rose up in me. Nine African Americans were killed by a young, racist white man in the southern United States. A white person was involved in perpetrating violence upon blacks in a church. Unfortunately, this is nothing new in the United States. My mind raced back to my childhood years when I read news stories of black churches being bombed and burned and people being tortured and killed at the hands of racist whites. I am a white man. Even though I cannot grasp and have never known the kind of hatred that it must take to commit such heinous acts; nevertheless, I felt and continue to feel disgust, anger, guilt and shame.

It is tempting to argue that we casual observers have no responsibility in what happened. I am not responsible for the actions of another person. Each of us must account for our own actions. I know that. But, we all contribute to the landscape of our collective environment, even if in only small and subtle ways. It's not our fault we say. We would never do that, we say. We can't do anything about that, we say.

So nothing changes.

I feel such a sadness for what is happening in my country right now. I know all the emotions I experience each day. While my life is by no means perfect, it is a pretty good life, especially when contrasted to what others in our society experience. Honestly, I am usually so focused on what is going on in my little circle, I tend to not think much about others. Or to do much for others. People struggling? It's easier to rationalize that it's their own fault. People hurting? Let someone else deal with it. It's not my responsibility.

Did I contribute to a culture and a disharmony that may have moved this very disturbed, young man over a line that no one should ever cross? I don't know. But if I have contributed in any way, I cannot apologize enough to relieve the guilt and shame that reality would generate.

Those folks in Charleston invited this young man into their circle of friendship and fellowship. Jesus knows something about people within his invited circle turning on Him. And like Jesus, this community in Charleston has demonstrated forgiveness and compassion which leads me to experience something that Paul Ekman never itemized on his list.... hope.

I want us to be better. I want to be better. I want to see as Jesus sees. I want to love as Jesus loves. Lord, help me to be more like You and less like I am right now.

You may not identify with anything I have said here so forgive me because I just needed to write it out. For me.

We Can Be Better Than This

Before I get to what I want to say, let me tell you a short story.  I was born in the mid-fifties living in a small town in New England. Our town was multi-ethnic which means that, in addition to the folks like me of Irish/ French Canadian descent, we had people living there that were Italian, Polish, Greek, German and folks descended from several other European countries. However, based on my best recollection, I never had any classmates in my early days in New Hampshire that were Hispanic, Scandinavian, Asian or African American. In fact, the first black kid I ever met was a boy from New York that was part of the Fresh Air program. He was my best friend that summer of 1962. We were inseparable. His name was Jim. I obviously knew that he looked different from me but, I didn't think he was really any different because he enjoyed doing all the same things I liked to do. We climbed trees, caught frogs, played ball, rode bikes, shared Coca Colas and all the other things little boys do. At the end of the summer, when he left to go back home, I remember giving him a hug and was a little embarrassed that I cried in front of everybody.

I don't know what ever happened to Jim. But I have never forgotten him. That summer is engraved on my life. My first encounter with a black person was profound because it was just so normal and natural. A few years later, I moved as a military brat to North Carolina, then South Carolina and realized that things were different in the Carolinas than they were in New England. Forty plus years ago, I landed in Georgia where I live still.

I am a white male born during the baby boomer generation. I am part of the most powerful and influential group of people in the United States today. I don't know what it is like to be in the minority except for those times when I have gone to a foreign country. In America, I’m it. So my perspective on things comes from that reality. I see the world and am seen by the world as not female, not black, not Hispanic, not poor, not all the other things that I am not.

I have never been made to feel different because, for my entire life, I was not different. People that look like me were, and still are, in charge. I'm a man and I’m white. I don't have to provide a history lesson on how our society has treated and considered women in general and people that are not white. The short answer is…differently. Sure, things have changed a lot. Today we say that women are treated equally. We say that people that are not white are treated equally. That’s what we say. And we have said it enough that we believe it. Even when the reality doesn't match the declaration.

When we visited our daughter and son-in-law in Korea I got a small taste of what it feels like to be different. Everyone around us looked Korean (of course) and… different than us. They talked differently. Their habits and customs are different. Some Korean, especially older ones, gave us unwelcome looks on the sidewalks and subway. I wondered what they thought of us. Don't get me wrong; we met many, many friendly Koreans. But what I remember were the looks from those that seemed to not want us there. I got a small taste of what it must be like to be “different”... not in the majority.

My wife remembers being a little girl going downtown with her sister on the city bus with their maid, Louise. Louise was black. The girls always wanted to sit up front and would beg Louise to let them sit there. Louise would tell them that the seats were so much better at the back of the bus and she would walk them back there. She never told them that she wasn't allowed to sit at the front. She just told the little girls in her care that the seats were better at the back of the bus. Different.

Think for a moment what it might be like to be black in America… you are only about 12% of the US population. 88% of America is different than you…76% of what you see are white people, almost half of which are male. Most positions of power and influence are held by white males. 75% of the Senate members are white men, twice the percentage as their population. In the House of Representatives, the percent of white males drops a little to 70%. But, after all… it is the people’s House. But mostly white, male people.

Things are not so good these days. People are marching in the streets all across our country because of recent incidents with police and decisions made by grand juries in Missouri and New York City. Blacks are upset. I understand why. I can probably cite statistics that would suggest that police are justified in their handling of confrontations with blacks since we know that blacks, after all, kill each other at alarming rates and commit crimes at a higher rate than their population would suggest. I could say that people shouldn’t resist arrest or they'll have what’s coming to them. That would be the easy but inappropriate response.

If your wife tells you that a certain attitude or behavior of yours hurts her feelings, you can argue til the cows come home that she shouldn't feel that way because that is not your intention. You can tell her that she should get over it. But that doesn't change how she feels. In fact, that response makes the hurt even worse.

When black people say that they feel like the police, the justice system and authorities treat them differently (more severely and with an assumption of guilt) than they do whites, we can say that it is not true…that is not the intent of the police and others…. that the evidence doesn't match their concern. But that ignores the reality of how many black people feel. And that makes it even worse. We disregard their concerns. We argue and cite statistics. We tell them how many black people kill white cops. Or how many black cops kill white people and how you don’t see people getting all outraged about that. But that misses the point. And it helps nothing.

I wish we could block out all the noise and shouts of racism and just start having some frank, honest, respectful conversations about what we all believe and feel. Talk about what we each see as problems and what we think needs to change. We have to get off the defensive. We have to start treating one another better. We need a change of heart. Early in this blog I told you that I am middle aged, that I am a man, and that I am white. But that isn't my most significant identifier. My bible tells me that I am made in the image of God. That each of us is made in God’s image. I am a child of God and so are you. I need to start behaving that way. And so do you.