Thoughts and Prayers

Someone is scheduled for surgery. A friend's family member has been in an automobile accident. One of your co-workers has lost a loved one. A forest fire destroys a small town. A hurricane levels a beachfront city. A madman shoots up a high school. A service member returns home from overseas in a flag draped coffin. 

"I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers," we say.

But what are we really saying? Is that expression meant to be an authentic pledge or simply a meaningless platitude? Does a fearful, anxious, or even grief-filled person really gain anything from this promise?

Lately, in the wake of recent mass shootings, the offer of "thoughts and prayers" has been met with anger, frustration, mockery, and outright rejection. "I don't want your thoughts and prayers!" has been shouted back by some. Because, these days, the offer of "thoughts and prayers" is considered by some as simply code word for inaction or entrenchment.

When tragedy occurs, it is in our nature to want to understand why. We don't like the unexplained. We don't function well with uncertainty. We seek motive and answers. (We actually prefer control.) Why do bad things happen? When the answers don't come, we begin to fill in the blanks ourselves. No matter whether it is tragedy caused by another human, unexplained tragedies, or natural disasters, we demand answers and action.

We inhabit a massive, intricate planet that is constantly in activity and motion. Wind and water, tides and precipitation, temperatures and pressure are in a perpetual dance that, at its best, provides for breathtaking beauty and the sustainment of life; and, at its worst, gives us tornadoes, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, tsunamis, droughts, heat waves, ice ages.... destruction and death. Human knowledge has made incredible advances in our understanding and ability to predict... some things. But, we cannot make these cataclysmic events cease to occur. No more than we can stop the earth from rotating and revolving. So, we prepare as best we can. And when tragedy does strike, we can and should work to help those affected.

When a loved one dies... by war, by disease, by suicide, by accident, by murder, or for reasons we don't even know... it is heart-wrenching. Humans fiercely cling to life and, when death occurs... when it is premature or unexpected, we want to know and understand why. We want rules changed, or laws passed, or medical procedures allowed.... just do something! Finding ways to prevent tragedy is prudent. We can discuss and debate how to solve these things without demonizing one another. Two truths are inarguable... nature is fierce and powerful... and humans can and do unspeakable evils to one another. It has always been. 

I am not immune from the realities of life and the tragedies that can and do occur. But, as a Christian, I am not called to do nothing. When you face hardship and even death, I am called to walk with you through that time...to grieve and mourn with you. In times of trouble, you are to be in the forefront of my mind as I go about my day... setting aside my own priorities, if even for a few moments or hours, and to place what you are going through before my own immediate concerns. Keeping you in my thoughts. Assuring you that whatever you are going through... you have someone else that is trying to understand and be connected.

To say that I know exactly how prayer works would be grossly inaccurate. But, my faith tells me that I am to pray. The God of the universe... the Creator of all things tells me that His desire is for me (and all of us) to be in communion with Him through prayer. One of the things I am to do is ask... ask for my needs, ask for the outcomes I desire, and ask on behalf of someone else's needs. When I say that "I am keeping you in my prayers," I am interceding on your behalf with my Heavenly Father asking for His help to see you through your situation... as only He can do.

I can understand your pain as I have experienced my own. While we seek answers and solutions, please do not reject my offer to "keep you in my thoughts and prayers." That, and a warm embrace, when possible, is the highest gift I know to give you. I don't have the solutions to all the tragedies of life. But I know a Savior that does. And He has called me to walk with you and pray for you.

 

Does God Really Care Who Wins the Game?

Prayer. To me, this is one of the most unique endeavors a human can undertake. Think about what prayer is...a conversation, often silent, between you and the Creator of the Universe. In the first place, I am amazed that we can even get an audience with God. In your sphere of influence and using your best connections, who is the highest ranking or most famous person you could have a one-on-one conversation with right now? Call the White House and ask to speak to President Obama. Call the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and tell them that you would like to speak to Billy Graham. You get my point.

God does not, like an annoyed parent around a pestering child, irritatedly say to us OK, OK, what is it? No, he desires to hear from us. All the time. According to the world population clock, as I write these words, the population of our planet is 6,987,718,467....nearly 7 billion people. At this very moment, I wonder how many are having a conversation with God? How can God "hear" and engage in that many conversations simultaneously? Well, He is God and when I stop thinking like He has limitations that we humans have, I can simply be in wonder that He can do anything.

What do you pray about? I know our prayers are not just requests that we make of God. In our prayers, we acknowledge Him for who He is. We express our adoration. Maybe, not often enough, we say how we have fallen short or how we have been disobedient or confess things for which we seek forgiveness. We thank Him for the blessings in our life. We thank Him for what He has done. We thank Him for Christmas and Good Friday and Easter. But, we also spend a lot of our prayer time making requests.

God, heal my friend's grandmother. Lord, help me repair this damaged marriage. Father, let this pregnancy not end like the last two that ended in miscarriage. Help me do my best on this exam...by the way, I need at least a B or I will lose my scholarship. God, protect my cousin who is in Afghanistan.

Many, many years ago, I was asked by a co-worker to play on his church's softball team. In those days, I was a pretty good player and so I agreed. We always had a team prayer prior to the start of the game and I can still vividly remember the coach of the team asking God, in every single one of those pre-game prayers, to give us base hits. ...base hits. And he didn't even qualify it with that often used (but, in my view, unnecessary) caveat..."if that would be Your will." In a world of suffering and war and disease and poverty and hunger and strife and a 50% divorce rate and childhood leukemia, he is asking the God of the Universe for base hits. I'll be honest...that sorta bugged me. Many of us have considered prayers we have heard or even spoken ourselves and thought "God has bigger things to worry about than whether your team wins the game."

Really? If your child came to you and said, Daddy, the thunder scares me. Do you say, honey, I've got a tax return that I need to complete and I also need to finish my presentation for work tomorrow...I don't have time for that and even if I did, being scared of thunder is nonsense. Come back to me when you have something really important to discuss. Mommy, can I have a hug? Can't you see that I am busy right now? Why don't you go watch TV until supper is ready.

God is never too busy. And there is no request from your heart that He does not want to hear. He delights in you and me. He is the Father that has all the time in the world to listen to you. He is the Mother that is never too busy to hold you and hug you and listen to even your most silly concern.

Do you ever make deals with God? God, if You will make this situation turn out the way I want it to, I promise I will ______________. Pretty sure most of us have done that. We ask God to "intervene" in the course of human activity and history and adjust the rudder to turn the ship of inevitability just enough to change the result that is otherwise obvious. When my father-in-law, Ed, was in the latter stage of his cancer, I struggled with what to ask God to do. I wanted a miraculous healing to take place knowing that the doctor's prediction ran counter to that. So, do I pray for healing or do I pray that God will take away his suffering and pain and mercifully let him die? God, please heal him, but, if not, then I ask that you please allow him to not experience any more of this terrible pain. Thinking back, I only asked for two possibilities. What if there was a third? But, in my heartbreak, I was being honest and I think God asks that of us. Tell me what is on your heart...I'll deal with the rest, I think He says. Even when we do not know what to pray...God tells us in Romans 8: 26,27: "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God."


Ed battled cancer for many years. We prayed and prayed for his outcome with cancer to be different than what actually occurred. But, God was glorified through Ed's ordeal. I shared a story at his funeral:

I want to share one last story. Ed re-entered the hospital 8 days ago and was very sick. On Monday of last week one of his co-workers at Augusta Regional, a good friend, went to visit him. She had been reading her Bible and their conversation turned to that. She had been reading about Noah; and Ed, with oxygen tubes up his nose, morphine and antibiotics running into his arm, began to talk to her about God flooding the earth because of man’s wickedness, but sparing Noah and his family. He went on to explain how God sent His only Son to pay the price for our sin and provide a way for us to be forgiven and enjoy eternal life with Him. Dying of cancer in a hospital bed, Ed led his friend to the Lord and she professed her faith in Jesus Christ.

What if God had answered my prayer the way I asked Him to? Would Ed have had that opportunity to share Jesus Christ with her? We'll never know.

God is glorified through football wins and tragedy, newborns and cancer, triumphs and disasters, graduations and incarcerations. I want my prayers to be honest...if it is on my heart, I want to share it with Him. But in all that I ask for, I always want God to be glorified in the outcome. If that is done by His saying "yes," that is wonderful. If, however, He is glorified through "no" or "not now", then so be it. That's my prayer.

Want to read my blogs on your Kindle? Click here.

We can pray and we can give

We have some dear friends that are going through a nightmare experience. Their niece was involved in a horrific accident this past weekend when she walked into the path of a still spinning small airplane propeller and has suffered serious injuries. [ Read story here ] I don't know Lauren Scruggs but I do know her aunt, uncle and cousins. But it doesn't really matter whether I know her personally. She and her family need our prayers.

A CaringBridge site has been set up where you can follow her progress and provide your well wishes to her and her family. Here is the link: Lauren Scrugg's CaringBridge site

A fund has been established to help with Lauren's medical expenses. I don't currently know how donations can be made to the Lauren Scruggs Hope Fund but I am sure that information can be found soon. I will post more when I have the information. Her recovery will be a long one and I'm sure the medical bills will be substantial. Please help if you can. UPDATE- you can donate via [link to PayPal] to laurenscruggshopefund@gmail.com.

From what I have heard and read, Lauren is a woman with a strong faith in Jesus Christ. Her parents and extended family are also faithful believers so I am confident they will cherish your prayers.

Your past sometimes catches up with you

I have some bad news

I received an interesting phone call today at my sign store. A prospective customer called inquiring about some signs (duh...we're a sign shop.) He told me his name (we'll call him Joe) and said that we worked together at the company I was previously with. He went on to say that he was one of the ones caught up in the "big layoff of 2001." Partially recalling the name, I sheepishly asked him if I was the one that laid him off. He said yes. I asked him a couple more verifying questions, all of which he answered in the affirmative. Uh oh...my past was coming back to haunt me.

Here was someone from whom I sat across a desk in the Human Resources Department to inform that his job with the company was over. He had to go home that day and try to explain to his family how and why he no longer had a job. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only person I laid off that day...I think he was the 6th (and final) one to whom I had to deliver this devastating news. One of the worst parts of it was that I couldn't really articulate a sensible reason as to why he had to lose his job. Oh, I had the company line that we delivered but, in my heart of hearts, it didn't really make good sense to me.

He took the news very well. He didn't get angry or start to cry or (heaven forbid) attack me with a folding chair or the letter opener on the desk. He was calm...almost peaceful about it. I told him that the Human Resources person would go over the various financial, insurance, severance details with him. In the meantime I waited for him to finish his paperwork so I could walk with him back to the building at the rear of our sprawling campus. I'll admit that I was regretting having to make that 10 minute walk with him but I wasn't about to make him make that walk alone.

Just about a year earlier our company was merged with another, greatly increasing the size of the company but causing much redundancy, including in my area- Customer Service. I went from having 100 or so employees to more than double that...now including people in Wisconsin, Ohio, North Carolina, and Nebraska. It was later decided to close one of the locations in Wisconsin. That meant that, except for the few that were offered and accepted transfers to the Charlotte location, the remainder of the 18 employees I had there would be laid off. When I flew up to Wisconsin I was going to be meeting most of my "new" employees for the first time. And I was going to tell them that they no longer had a job. The day began early as they came in one by one to hear first hand from me that they were being let go. The first one to cry was a man in his late 50's who had been with the company probably since I was in college. A couple of the ladies also cried. This was awful for them. Oh, it was no fun for me but c'mon...I was a VP and wasn't losing my job...my career...my paycheck.

I chose to retire early (well I was there for almost 33 years) in part because of that day in Wisconsin. I just didn't want to do that anymore. I know that layoffs, restructuring, RIF's...whatever you want to call it are a part of the business world...and even necessary in many cases. But I just couldn't stomach being a part of that kind of activity anymore. That doesn't mean that I will never have to let an employee go again but, at least I will be the one making that decision...not just picking which one it has to be.

So, let's get back to my long walk with "Joe." I asked him as we walked back if he was going to be alright because I was just about to break down myself and lose my composure. Sensing this, he put his arm around my shoulder as guys tend to do and gave it a squeeze and said, "Hey, it is going to be fine...I don't want you to be upset about it...you were just doing what you had to do." He went on to tell me that he was a part-time minister and had been praying for God to give him some guidance about what to do about his ministry. He said that the layoff may have been just what he needed to happen so he could make some decisions about that. My intent in walking back with him was to offer some consolation and here he was lifting me up and telling me that  maybe his job loss was an answer to prayer. Now I was really in tears feeling guilty about what had happened to him but at the same time overwhelmed with the grace and compassion he was extending to me. I have never forgotten that day and that 10 minute walk with him.

You see, in a real way, he was an answer to my prayers too. I had been feeling the tug to move on to whatever God had next in store for me. Not too long after this, I had made up my mind to step away from a career that had been so good to me and my family to see what I was supposed to do next.

Turns out it was to buy a sign company. "Joe" called me today to ask me if I would look at some signage at an historic church downtown that needs to be changed because his church has taken over the building.

So as to provide all the facts, "Joe" called me because his "day job" is working for a company that includes another former employee (no, I didn't lay him off) that recommended me when he heard that "Joe" was looking for some signs. That little clarification does not in the slightest way change the amazing turn of events of our re-connection. It has been almost 10 years since "Joe" and I took our seemingly insignificant walk and had that very God-filled conversation.

Sometimes our pasts do catch up with us. And thank the Lord they do.