Father's Day and Saving Private Ryan

I was watching the news a week or so ago and they were talking about the difference in the way that Mother's Day and Father's Day are celebrated...basically suggesting that Dads get shortchanged when compared to the phone calls made, flowers and gifts given, and family get togethers that occur on Mother's Day. Dads don't seem to complain though... my experience is that guys aren't really that hard to please.

I enjoy Father's Day because it reminds me of how blessed I am to have the family I have....a wife that loves me, two wonderful adult children and a great son-in-law. I also enjoyed a great lunch, feasting on a medium-rare, 20-oz. bone-in ribeye, baked potato, salad with bleu cheese dressing and steaming yeast rolls. I was only able to eat half my steak and potato at lunch which meant that I was able to enjoy the leftovers later that night. Yum.

Sunday afternoons frequently include a nap after I get home from church and lunch. On Father's Day I decided to watch a couple of movies in lieu of a nap (actually, I think I did both.) I am a big WWII movie fan so I pulled out "Patton" and "Saving Private Ryan" from my modest Blu-Ray collection. I think part of the reason I love watching these war movies is because it reminds me of the generation for whom I have so much admiration and respect. Growing up, the WWII veterans were such an integral part of the town in which I lived. They were the people in my community that I looked up to.

My dad served in the Navy although I don't think he saw much action during the war. His first cousin was also in the Navy and was killed when the ship on which he served was torpedoed and sunk in the Pacific. My dad died almost fourteen years ago and, although our time together when I was growing up was limited due to my parent's divorce when I was young, the times I had with him when I was a kid and as an adult remain precious memories. I miss him. Especially on Father's Day.

I often think about my role as a dad and wonder how my kids will remember me when I'm gone. I know I have made so many mistakes but, my earnest desire is and has always been to be a good dad.

"Saving Private Ryan" is one of my favorite movies. There are so many powerful scenes in that movie but, there are a couple, aside from the intense battle scenes, that seem to hit me right in the heart. I think most everyone has seen this movie so, I don't think I need to issue a spoiler alert.

The movie opens with a modern-day scene in the U.S Military Cemetery at Ste. Laurent-sur-Mer, France with an old man (presumed to be a WWII veteran) walking amongst the white marble grave markers...mostly crosses and stars of David. At the opening of the movie, we are not sure who this character is. We learn a little later in the movie that Private James Francis Ryan has lost all four of his brothers in battle and Army Chief of Staff General George C. Marshall issues orders for eight men from the 2nd Rangers, who have just survived the D-Day landing at Omaha Beach, to find Ryan and get him safely back home. But no one knows exactly where he is.

At the latter part of the movie, after Captain John Miller (played by Tom Hanks) has been fatally shot, he pulls Private Ryan (played by Matt Damon) close and whispers in a weak voice "James- Earn this...Earn it." Men have risked and lost their lives trying to find and escort Private Ryan to safety so he can return home and live his life. Captain Miller is telling Ryan to live a life worthy of the men who paid such a high price to rescue him.

The ending scene goes back to where we were in the opening scene. The gentleman, who we now know to be the old man-James Ryan, is there to find the grave of Captain Miller...the one who led the men who risked and lost lives so that he could live. He is very emotional and his wife comes up to his side. Ryan turns to his wife and says, "Tell me I've led a good life." "Tell me I'm a good man." I don't know how a husband and father can watch that scene and not be moved.

Ending scenes

I watched this movie on purpose on Father's Day. Because, as a dad (and husband,) the same desire and reassurance that James Ryan was seeking at the end of the movie, I seek. I want to know that I have led a good life. I want to be a good man. I want to be a good dad. And I want to live a life worthy of the sacrifice that was made for me. And made for you, for that matter.

What do the Olympics teach us?

Sweet

I've never competed in the Olympics. At least not THE Olympics. You want to know why? Because my athletic prowess, even in my prime, did not measure up to the best in the world. In fact, I wasn't even the best in my school or neighborhood. I competed in my share of sports growing up...baseball, football, and track as well as playing several others just for fun. I have (or had) a few trophies and ribbons but no bronze, silver or gold medals.

Why is this? Why do some people get to be Olympic athletes and most others not? Bill Toomey won the decathlon in the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. Despite sharing the same last name, I am not related to Bill Toomey so his athletic ability did not get passed down to me.

I love the Olympics because it is raw competition. In the case of team sports, if you lose enough games...you're out...no chance for a medal. If you compete in an individual event and don't qualify in the preliminary heats, it's over. You don't even get to run or swim (or whatever) in the final race for the medal. You're done.

Why does Michael Phelps swim so fast? He won 4 gold medals and 2 silvers in these Olympics. How does Usain Bolt outrun everyone he goes up against? He won a gold medal in all 3 events in which he competed. On the other hand,  Lolo Jones finished 4th in the 100m hurdles. You know what you get for 4th place? Nothing. She didn't win a medal. We all saw Jordyn Wieber in tears when she did not qualify for the women's gymnastics all-around finals because she scored lower than her teammates Gabby Douglas and Aly Raisman. Oh, Jordyn had the 4th best score of all competitors in the preliminaries but the rules say only 2 people from each country can compete in the finals. This is a strange rule and I believe one of the few in the Olympics like this. In almost every other case, the top scoring people in the preliminaries or qualifying heats advance to the finals regardless of what country they represent. In fact, the US women (team A) played the US women (team B) in the beach volleyball final for the gold medal. Pretty much assured that the US wins the gold and silver medal.

Competition. There is something about (most of) us that loves to watch people compete athletically. I read today that NBC's coverage of the 2012 Olympics was the most-watched event in television history. We definitely tuned in.

Some are uncomfortable with all this competition. Winners...losers. Sounds pretty harsh. Is it fair that some athletes won and others didn't? The obvious answer is "yes" but, still, it gets some people squirming a little.

When I was a young guy and played sports, there were often trophies awarded to individual, standout players. If your team won, the entire team got a trophy. Runners-up sometimes got trophies too but, they were always smaller. Today, some youth leagues give trophies to everyone that "participates." What is that all about? I can get a trophy simply by participating? How meaningful is that? Is this something that you display with pride on your dresser at home? I think not.

I remember when you were invited to a birthday party as a kid, you brought a present for the birthday boy or girl because it was HIS or HER birthday...not yours. Today, it is often the case that everyone that comes to the party gets some small gift. When did this practice begin? If it is your birthday and someone throws a party for you, aren't you supposed to be the center of attention? I mean, it's only 1 day a year. Are we so concerned that the other kids there may feel left out that we give everyone a present?

Awards and ribbons and medals and trophies should be earned. You shouldn't get one just for showing up. I dare say that the Usain Bolts and Michael Phelpses and Gabby Douglases worked countless hours honing their skills. They sacrificed when others were out enjoying their free time. They were committed to achieving something special and they did what was necessary to become the best they could be in their sport. There is no doubt that some of these athletes have been blessed with amazing physical abilities that they received from Mom's and Dad's DNA. It's no coincidence that the sons of the former great quarterback Archie Manning are both standout NFL quarterbacks. But, I bet both Peyton and Eli spent hours and hours throwing footballs in the backyard with Dad.

Back to my own athletic journey. Did I have the same opportunity as Usain Bolt to earn an Olympic gold medal in track? Yes. (Montreal in 1976 and Moscow in 1980 would have been MY Olympics...of course , Jimmy Carter boycotted the 1980 Olympics.) When I was in high school I ran the mile, 2-mile and I pole vaulted. I was pretty good....only pretty good. I finished first in a few meets but, I was not the best runner/ vaulter on my team... I won no state championships... no regional championships. Why not? I didn't work as hard as other athletes I competed against. Sure, some were better physical specimens than I but, that's not the primary reason I didn't excel.

Competitive sports can teach us a lot. We learn that being the best requires sacrifice and hard work and that applies regardless of whether you are trying to be the best gymnast or be successful in your career. Just showing up does not typically result in great success. But some folks want the same rewards regardless of the effort required for those rewards. We see people pointing fingers at others that are successful and say NOT FAIR! Just like in the Olympics sometimes you get only one real shot at winning the prize. Don't miss those opportunities. Why not, when you see a successful athlete or a successful business person or a successful married couple, not allow it to make you jealous or envious but, rather, allow it to motivate you to be the best you can be at whatever you pursue. That's gold right there. And let's stop with the participation trophies!