I am woman!

Helen Reddy's 1971 classic song by the same title was embraced as a song of solidarity for women's rights and the feminist movement. "I am woman hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore. And I know too much to go back an' pretend..." I am never surprised by the issues that make it into the presidential election rhetoric. We have heard about contraception, gas prices, wealth, taxes, unemployment, the economy, citizenship, immigration, GSA spending, and a host of other topics.

Now the discussion is centered on the "war on women." I don't know which party is actually waging this war but it doesn't seem to be limited to the opposite sex waging the war (as you would expect.) Seems as though some women have issues with other women's "woman-ness."

For centuries, women were dominated by men. Religions allowed or even required it; cultures embraced and practiced it; and, even in modern times, we see evidence of inequality between men and women practiced and condoned. Laws have been passed in the US disallowing gender discrimination but, the dirty little reality is that it still exits today. While I would love to delve into this aspect of the conversation, this isn't what I want to discuss in this post. Maybe next time.

Hilary Rosen, lobbyist, Democrat strategist and pundit, made a comment about Ann Romney, the wife of the likely Republican candidate that has stirred up the conversation concerning women. Mitt Romney stated that he sought his wife's counsel on economic issues. Ms. Rosen took issue with this by saying, "Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day of her life. She's never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future."

Ms. Rosen eventually apologized for her poor choice of words and the seeming attack on Ann Romney who is generally perceived as a non-controversial figure. The talking heads on both sides of the political and ideological spectrum have chimed in on the issue. So, I might as well join in.

Rosen may have had a legitimate argument that Mitt's wife may not really know what it is like to be in the economic shoes of most American women simply because the Romneys are very wealthy (I don't believe the Romneys have always lived the opulent lifestyle, however, the memories of Ramen Noodles for supper are probably a distant memory.) But that's not the point from which she qualified her remarks. She said that Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life. Wow. One should be skeptical when you hear people use words like all, never, always, everyone, etc. because these absolute words are often used in an inaccurate, adolescent fashion. "Mom, you never let me go anywhere!" Of course we expect more from people like Hilary Rosen...she is, after all, a professional.

Is there a perception by some women that a woman who has not pursued a professional career is somehow a lesser woman? Are people simply being patronizing when they say that they applaud stay-at-home wives or moms? What about some other possible qualifiers. Do "real women" need to eventually marry? Can you be a "real woman" if you never have children? We know that these stereotypes also exist.

In my view, the crux of Hilary Rosen's remarks were that a woman must have a career in order to be qualified to participate in "serious" conversations. Oh sure, non-career woman can discuss their favorite brand of vacuum cleaner, best spray starch and  most effective laundry detergent but don't you dare have anything to say about the federal deficit or the problem with mortgage backed securities. Sure, you stay-at-home moms can discuss poopy diapers, the best remedy for colic and sibling rivalry but you should just butt out of the adult discussions about world politics and national security. Unfortunately, feminine elitism is alive and well.

I'm a guy so, it is obvious that I am not really qualified to say what it takes to be a woman. But, I have been surrounded by many remarkable women my entire life. My grandmother was a nursing home owner and was like a mother to me, my sister is an executive with an insurance company, my daughter is a certified schoolteacher, my wife Carol was a self-employed master barber before she became a 20+ year stay-at-home Mom who also home schooled both our children and is now a media clerk at a middle school. Carol's value and standing as a competent, smart woman was not and is not determined by her marital status, her occupation or her childbearing. Being married to me simply gave her the additional titles of "wife and partner." Having Jessica and Michael added "Mama" to her titles. But, she is 100% woman with no further accreditation required by either you or me because that's what God made her to be. And she has every bit as much right to engage in any discussion she feels competent to participate in.

Who the heck is Max Factor?

The daily ritual

Let me just say from the outset...this blog post is going to get me into big trouble. But I am a dashing and daring man who is not afraid to throw caution to the wind so...here goes.

This is an open letter to all the women of the world. But first, let me recall a story. Many years ago my wife Carol and I were driving to Atlanta for a weekend getaway. Somehow the topic of make-up/ cosmetics came up. For the life of me I can't imagine how it "came up"...but, it did. I asked Carol why women wore make-up... it's time consuming to apply, it is expensive (worldwide cosmetics sales are over $170 billion dollars per year) and, in my view, unnecessary. She argued that men would not find women attractive without make-up or that many woman who are not "natural" beauties, need to wear make-up to improve their appearance. I asked "improve their appearance in whose eyes?" She said...men. I said she was wrong. See, I think women wear make-up primarily because they compare themselves to other women. They have convinced themselves that they must wear make-up to be "attractive." I told her that I thought she was attractive without make-up. She looked at me like I had two heads and accused me of lying. Lying? Why the heck would I lie about that?

But, you see, I think women are beautiful or, are at least seen as beautiful by the men and families who love them...(make-up not required.) This "discussion" we had lasted for nearly an hour and the more I talked the more angry she became with me. I'm not sure why she was angry when I was telling her that I thought she was beautiful just the way she was. I also said that if someone could convince all women to stop wearing all make-up for two weeks, by the end of that two weeks no one would care anymore that women had stopped wearing make-up. You see for this to work...EVERY woman would have to agree to stop. No cheaters. Again, she looked at me like I was crazy.

Men don't wear make-up (most men at least.) How can women bear to look at us? I mean, it's just us and our plain faces. I think the cosmetics industry has done an amazing job of convincing women that they are not attractive enough. That's just a big fat lie.

Max Factor began his career in the film industry in the early 1900's. Stage actors had been wearing grease paint for years but the film industry required something not as heavy or thick. Max Factor ultimately produced creams in various shades for actors and actresses to wear. We, of course, know where those early beginnings eventually led. And the more well to do people have been using various forms of face paint, lip coloring for thousands of years. I know, I know...it's been around since Cleopatra. I saw how Elizabeth Taylor was made up.

But, I still don't understand it. One of Carol's arguments for make-up was that her eyes seemed to be more sensitive to light if she wasn't wearing mascara. I think she was actually on to something there. You know how baseball and football players will put the black stuff under their eyes? It's to absorb the light shining near their eyes...it cuts down on the glare.

So, I guess mascara can have the same effect. OK...she scored one point. But I was still getting hammered because I think she thought I was just teasing her. I wasn't.

So...am I full of you-know-what, or not? Hold that thought.

Let me get something else off my chest. First, I will admit that I think Angelina Jolie is a very attractive woman...one reason being her very full lips. (Carol thinks I am crazy on this point as well.) But, that's not the point. What is it with women injecting stuff into their lips to make them look plumper (if that's a word?) Every actress whose before and after pictures I have seen that has "enhanced" her lips looks so much worse afterwards. Every one. What's that all about? I know there are other "enhancements" out there as well. We'll let that lie for now.

I love the line in "Mrs. Doubtfire" when the old bus driver is hitting on Robin Williams' cross-dressed character who inadvertently reveals some hairy male leg despite being fully decked out like an old woman. The bus driver never misses a beat. He says "Oh, I like that Mediterranean look in a lady...healthy...natural...just the way God made ya."

So...that's my line to all the woman out there...you are beautiful. Because that's the way God made ya. No need for Max.