Mind Your Own Business

Mind your own...

How many times have we heard this admonition to keep our nose out of someone else’s affairs? Plenty. Some might think it too harsh or rude to say but, I think it is pretty darn good advice. As a general rule, I am of the opinion that what people think or what they do in their own personal life is none of my business. Our founding documents state that we are each endowed with unalienable rights… life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Basically… you live your life and I’ll live mine.

Have you heard the phrase, “that’s a matter of opinion?” Of course, you have. When we say this, we are usually referring to a subject, topic, or idea that does not have widespread or settled agreement. Gravity. The earth rotating and revolving around the sun. The square root of 64. These are not “matters of opinion.” These are considered facts. Truths.

Believe or not, people have differing opinions on many things, topics, and issues. Politics. Eating liver. Economic systems. Religion. Human behavior. Morality. Football. Some of these are relatively innocuous differences of opinion. Some of these topics, however, are considered serious enough to be written into our laws. Over the years, some of these laws have been changed or been eliminated. Opinions do change. Some see that as good… others see that as not.

One of the beauties of how our country is supposed to work is that we have the right to disagree. And we have the right to state those disagreements. We have the right to free speech… we have the right to protest (peacefully) and we have the right to not be forced to change our positions or opinions by coercion or force. We do have the ability to suggest, using persuasion and argument, how people should consider changing their opinion. We have the ability to try to vote in or out policy and law makers who do or do not share our personal view of various positions. We can disassociate and boycott to demonstrate our disagreement.

But, at the end of the day, another person’s opinion is none of our business. How another person wants to live their life is none of my business. But that works both ways. If it’s none of my business then don’t insist on making it my business. My opinion is my opinion. I can choose to agree with you or I can choose to disagree and simply tolerate your viewpoint or behavior. Hey, if you want to eat liver and onions, that’s fine. But don’t insist that I eat it or insist that I agree that it might taste good (it doesn’t btw.)

But it seems today that, when we differ, tolerance is no longer good enough. Tolerance, you see, is a “none of your business” mindset and behavior. Today, some insist on adherence to and agreement with certain topics, issues, theories, lifestyles, or behaviors. This is not a “mind your own business” mindset. This is opinion bullying. This is idea shaming. This is wrong.

Mind your own business is a two-edged sword. As it should be. Don’t agree with me? Good. Because what you think is none of my business.

Thoughts and Prayers

Someone is scheduled for surgery. A friend's family member has been in an automobile accident. One of your co-workers has lost a loved one. A forest fire destroys a small town. A hurricane levels a beachfront city. A madman shoots up a high school. A service member returns home from overseas in a flag draped coffin. 

"I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers," we say.

But what are we really saying? Is that expression meant to be an authentic pledge or simply a meaningless platitude? Does a fearful, anxious, or even grief-filled person really gain anything from this promise?

Lately, in the wake of recent mass shootings, the offer of "thoughts and prayers" has been met with anger, frustration, mockery, and outright rejection. "I don't want your thoughts and prayers!" has been shouted back by some. Because, these days, the offer of "thoughts and prayers" is considered by some as simply code word for inaction or entrenchment.

When tragedy occurs, it is in our nature to want to understand why. We don't like the unexplained. We don't function well with uncertainty. We seek motive and answers. (We actually prefer control.) Why do bad things happen? When the answers don't come, we begin to fill in the blanks ourselves. No matter whether it is tragedy caused by another human, unexplained tragedies, or natural disasters, we demand answers and action.

We inhabit a massive, intricate planet that is constantly in activity and motion. Wind and water, tides and precipitation, temperatures and pressure are in a perpetual dance that, at its best, provides for breathtaking beauty and the sustainment of life; and, at its worst, gives us tornadoes, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, tsunamis, droughts, heat waves, ice ages.... destruction and death. Human knowledge has made incredible advances in our understanding and ability to predict... some things. But, we cannot make these cataclysmic events cease to occur. No more than we can stop the earth from rotating and revolving. So, we prepare as best we can. And when tragedy does strike, we can and should work to help those affected.

When a loved one dies... by war, by disease, by suicide, by accident, by murder, or for reasons we don't even know... it is heart-wrenching. Humans fiercely cling to life and, when death occurs... when it is premature or unexpected, we want to know and understand why. We want rules changed, or laws passed, or medical procedures allowed.... just do something! Finding ways to prevent tragedy is prudent. We can discuss and debate how to solve these things without demonizing one another. Two truths are inarguable... nature is fierce and powerful... and humans can and do unspeakable evils to one another. It has always been. 

I am not immune from the realities of life and the tragedies that can and do occur. But, as a Christian, I am not called to do nothing. When you face hardship and even death, I am called to walk with you through that time...to grieve and mourn with you. In times of trouble, you are to be in the forefront of my mind as I go about my day... setting aside my own priorities, if even for a few moments or hours, and to place what you are going through before my own immediate concerns. Keeping you in my thoughts. Assuring you that whatever you are going through... you have someone else that is trying to understand and be connected.

To say that I know exactly how prayer works would be grossly inaccurate. But, my faith tells me that I am to pray. The God of the universe... the Creator of all things tells me that His desire is for me (and all of us) to be in communion with Him through prayer. One of the things I am to do is ask... ask for my needs, ask for the outcomes I desire, and ask on behalf of someone else's needs. When I say that "I am keeping you in my prayers," I am interceding on your behalf with my Heavenly Father asking for His help to see you through your situation... as only He can do.

I can understand your pain as I have experienced my own. While we seek answers and solutions, please do not reject my offer to "keep you in my thoughts and prayers." That, and a warm embrace, when possible, is the highest gift I know to give you. I don't have the solutions to all the tragedies of life. But I know a Savior that does. And He has called me to walk with you and pray for you.

 

You Have to Experience It (and Him) In Person

There are many iconic, must-see, bucket list places in America.... Niagara Falls, Yosemite, the Tetons, Great Smokey Mountains National Park, the Statue of Liberty and a host of others. But, no list of must-see/must-experience locations in the US would be complete if it didn't include the Grand Canyon.

My first time "seeing" the Grand Canyon was when the captain of the airplane on which I was traveling told us to look out of the right side windows as we flew over northern Arizona. Even from the cruising altitude we were flying, the extraordinary crevice in the earth's crust was clearly visible. I had my face pressed to the plastic window as long as it remained in our view. A few years later, our family vacationed in Arizona for about 10 days. Our base of operations was a condo in Flagstaff but, we spent one night in one of the lodges at the South Rim. We vacationed in Arizona a second time about 10 years later... and went back to the Grand Canyon again.

I obviously had seen dozens and dozens of photographs and videos of the Grand Canyon prior to going there. I had studied about how the canyon was formed by the Colorado River over millions of years. I knew all of the facts and figures about the Grand Canyon. People who had experienced it always said that all the photos and videos just did not do it justice. When folks would talk about their time there, you could just tell that they were trying to describe it accurately but it was usually with a bit of frustration... they almost didn't have the vocabulary to tell about their experience.

In 1990, I volunteered to go on a foreign mission trip to Panama with several folks from our church. I just woke up one morning and had an overwhelming sense of urgency... I needed to go on that trip. I really didn't understand why I was feeling this prodding. Prior to that morning, I had never considered going on a mission trip. It was an amazing week... our team was there to construct a church building so that the small church there no longer had to worship under a ragged tent. For about a week, our team laid row upon row of concrete block, mixed mortar with only a shovel (upon my return, Carol appreciated the transformation of my biceps,) and, most importantly, we interacted with the members of that church and small community. It was just a little after Christmas... it was the dry season, so the children were out of school and were always near us. The sweet people of the Santa Librada community loved on and blessed us as we labored with block and mortar and fell in love with our new friends. On Sunday we attended a worship service in the back yard of one of the members. The entire service was in Spanish and, except for a word here and there, the words were unknown to me. But something amazing happened. I knew exactly what God was saying to me that morning... as if He was sitting right next to me speaking in English. It was truly an encounter with God I had never previously known. I couldn't explain it then and I can't really explain it nearly 28 years later. I experienced something that I can only try to tell you about.

It's like our trips to the Grand Canyon. I can tell you all the things we did, the aroma of the desert and canyon, all of the sounds around us, the indescribable beauty and color of the canyon which we saw from the South Rim, from hiking down the trail, and from a helicopter flying from over the East Rim, up the Colorado River, over the North Rim, and back. But I would be describing my experience (at least as best I could) ... describing it through my eyes.

Today, I watched and heard (online streaming) my pastor from back in Georgia preach a sermon about Testifying... giving a Testimony. I immediately thought about the two experiences I have just written about above. As a Christian, by that very definition, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. That relationship has been, and continues to be, life changing for me. I can and do tell others about what my relationship with Jesus looks like, how it came to be, and what it means to me. That's my story... my testimony. Just like telling you about what happened to me in Panama... and my two trips at, over, and in the Grand Canyon. If you've never been to the Grand Canyon, it is good to read up about it, look at the photos and videos, read the brochures, and, maybe most importantly, listen to the people that have been there and have personal experience with it. But, to truly know it, you have to experience it yourself... in person.

If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, I can and will enthusiastically tell you about Jesus and what He has done in my life. How could I not share that with you? I can share the gospel story with you and I can also tell you my story.

But, you have to experience Him yourself..."in Person" if you will. My experience will not be your experience. My story will be different than your story. But I encourage you to see and experience Him for yourself. Then you can share your story. Testimony.