Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Simple Pleasures

Ain't that the truth

 

Today, we took a leisurely, 30-minute drive to Edgefield, SC, the seat of the mostly rural county where we live. It's a nice drive. There is a butcher shop there where I like to buy some of our meat. I like it because it is a small town, family-owned business. They are friendly, have good quality meat, and the prices are pretty good. We didn't go to the butcher shop today. My freezer's full.

We've never been fancy people. Neither of us grew up that way. And even while having a relatively successful, good paying career, we pretty much stuck to our pretty modest lifestyle. No fancy houses, clothes, or cars. We've done some traveling. Carol and I have cruised the Caribbean, vacationed in the Virgin Islands, skied in Colorado, spent time in San Francisco, San Diego, Dallas, Phoenix/Sedona/Flagstaff/Grand Canyon, Orlando, Miami, Niagara Falls, and most of New England, among other places. We've been to Israel, Italy, and Korea together. Most of our vacations have been by car to destinations within 4-6 hours of our house (some of my favorite family times.) Our kids spent a lot of their childhood vacation time in our car but, also had a few airline vacations.

Kaya, our 15-year old black lab mix, has always loved riding in the car. I drive an old Tahoe so, with the back seats down she has plenty of room in the back. I put her dog bed back there along with a non-spill water bowl and off we go.

During one of my butcher shop trips a while back, Carol and Kaya came along. There is a McDonald's across the street from the butcher shop so, after putting my purchase in the cooler, we went through the drive-thru. Carol always gets a kid's meal because she eats like a bird, I usually get 2 cheeseburgers, and I ordered a plain hamburger for Kaya. Then we drove downtown to see if there was a parking space on Edgefield's very simple, but pretty square.


It was a beautiful, sunny, warm-but-not-hot day, We parked, rolled down the windows (actually I just used the buttons,) and settled in for our fancy meal. I took Kaya's plain burger around to the back, raised the lift gate, and pulled apart the bun and hamburger patty into her travel food bowl. She gobbled it up about as fast as I could break it apart. She was so happy.

Ever since that first time, anytime I've needed to go to the butcher, Carol and Kaya have ridden with me and we do our meal-in-the-car-on-the-square-thing. In December we ate our gourmet food while listening to Christmas carols that were playing outside (we live in the south... still warm enough to have the windows at least partially down.)

If you read my last post, (click here) you know that I'm taking Kaya to the vet this week (Thursday) because it is time for her to rejoin her sister, Maddie who we said goodbye to in 2022.

And if you read my two posts prior to that one, (click here) you also know what's going on with Carol's health.

So, today, I decided that we needed to have our McDonald's-on-the-square experience with sweet Kaya one more time. And Kaya isn't the only one that enjoys that simple pleasure. It's very enjoyable for Carol so... that's what we do.

Never take simple pleasures for granted. Because they are the best ones.


Thursday, January 25, 2024

You'll Know When It's Time

Kaya (left) and Maddie (right) a few years back
You'll know when it is time. Really? I'll know?

That's what the gal at the vet said the last time I was in there last fall when I asked when it will be time to bring our dog back in... for the last time.

We've had Kaya, our black lab mix, since spring of 2009. Our son had brought her home from college one weekend because a friend at school had been fostering Kaya (her name was Maggie then) but, she had to go out of town. She asked Michael if he could take care of her that weekend.

So, he brought her home from college to spend a weekend with us.

Lucy


A couple of years earlier, we had said goodbye to Lucy, the dog that both our kids had grown up with. The way we loved that dog caused one of Jessica's friends to say, "the Toomeys are obsessed with their dog." She was right. But, after Lucy got sick and had to be put to sleep, I said, "no more... no more dogs. I can't go through this again."


But, we love dogs. And we immediately fell in love with Kaya that weekend... this rambunctious puppy that was only a few months old. She was available for adoption so, we made her part of the family.

I could write 10 more blogs about our experiences with Kaya but, I will spare you. For now.

Dogs of Kaya's size and breed don't usually live to be this old. Lucy, a shepherd mix, died at around 12 and had been sick for a while prior to that.

In July 2022, I had to take Maddie to the vet because her back end had given out and she was in obvious pain. We had adopted Maddie not too long after we adopted Kaya so that Kaya could have a companion. That was a hard day at the vet. I cried all the way home and then some.

But now I have to make a decision about Kaya. She just had her 15th birthday. I won't get into her current health issues but, our vet agrees that surgical intervention for the most obvious issue (there is more than one) is probably unwise given her age and her likely diagnosis. Let her enjoy her remaining time, he suggested.

So, how will I know that it is time? I wish dogs could verbally communicate. I could ask her if she was in pain. Maybe she could tell me that she is ready to go.

Michael & family are coming here this weekend. It's going to be his opportunity to say goodbye to this sweet girl that he brought home to us and has been a part of our lives for almost 15 years.

I'm going to call the vet next week. Putting this off is selfish on my part because I just don't want to say goodbye... again.

I know it's time.


Friday, December 29, 2023

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

We all know the answer to this one.

You eat an elephant one bite at a time.

Have you ever thought about the different techniques that are used to eat some of the more common foods that we consume without knife, fork, or spoon?

I need you to get your mind's eye in focus here. One at a time, I want you to picture how you hold and then eat these common food items below. Think about your fingers/ hand(s) position, how you grasp it, and your "attack angle" to take a bite.

  • A hard shell taco (although a true Mexican taco is always soft, flour tortilla)
  • A hot dog with chili and slaw
  • A large slice of NY style pizza
  • A big, juicy, gourmet hamburger
  • A double scoop ice cream cone
  • Buffalo wings
  • Ribs
  • Corn on the cob

I recently saw a graphic that illustrated the correct way to eat a taco... grasp from the top, holding at the center of gravity of the taco, taco in alignment with mouth, head angled 45 degrees, and go for it. Sounds about right to me. Oh, and pray the corn tortilla doesn't shatter into a dozen pieces.

My experience eating a hot dog (especially one with many toppings) is an underneath grip (two hands initially,) hot dog/bun perpendicular to your face and level with the ground.... mouth wide open, straight in.

Now, the NY style (let's call it "floppy") pizza has a couple of variations when eating. There is the fold-in-half-method, folding from the mid-line of the crust to the point, thus eliminating the floppiness and even allowing it to be eaten one-handed. And there is also the two-handed non-folded method; crust held by the fingers of one hand, and pointed end supported by the fingers of the other hand (or even the back of the fingers of the other hand.)

The bigger the hamburger and the greater the toppings, the more challenging it is to eat without making a complete mess. But, it clearly is a two-handed method with solid grips with thumbs and fingers at 3:30 and 8:30.

Ice cream-in-a-cone eating includes the straight-up lick method, the more sideways lick while twirling method, and the psycho biting method. This is not an exhaustive list of methods by any means.

The ones I've listed above that have a similar holding technique are the chicken wing, rib, and corn on the cob. On the other hand, I've seen an entire chicken wing (flat or drum) placed in the mouth and pulled back out while the teeth scrape everything off leaving only bone/ joint. Never saw anyone do that with a baby back rib or corn on the cobb.

I was having lunch the other day with a friend and we were talking about how infrequently Carol and I go out to eat these days. With her dementia, she has started to lose the ability to navigate the eating process. She still does fairly well at home with a fork and spoon provided I've pre-cut things into bite-size pieces. And while introducing more finger type foods is generally the migration for folks with dementia that can still feed themselves, not all finger foods are truly "finger" foods. Chicken nuggets, French fries, cut up raw vegetable/ fruit or other food items that are easy to hold and are one or two-bite items are what I now consider finger foods. (Some of the finger foods aren't things you want to eat too frequently though.)

Sandwiches that can easily fall apart (i.e. a Jersey Mike's sub or a BLT, etc.) are too difficult and frustrating for her. So now I prepare sandwiches with "sticky" ingredients that can hold the sandwich together like peanut butter, pimiento cheese, grilled cheese, chicken salad, etc.

The other day we had chili slaw dogs. Mine were prepared the normal way. Hers I "deconstructed" and cut the bun and hot dog into bite-size pieces. Then I layered on some mustard, chili, and slaw and she was able to eat it fairly successfully with a fork. It looked like a mess on her plate but, she loved it and ate it all. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Those of you that have raised kids and helped them learn how to eat have an understanding of what I'm talking about. It's just that, in many ways, we are moving in reverse.

Navigating Dementialand and all that comes with it is sorta like eating an elephant.

We're just taking it one bite at a time.


*I'm sure some of you reading this have experience taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's disease or other form of dementia and what I've shared is familiar to you. For others, I share this for no other reason than to give you a better understanding. You can better appreciate why we and others in our situation no longer participate in most social events.

I'm no expert on dementia but, to the extent I can be helpful to others that are new to this, please feel free to reach out if I can provide some guidance or encouragement.

Remember... one bite at a time.


Thursday, December 21, 2023

I Made Her Laugh


If I am brutally honest, this is most likely how I was able to get Carol to take an interest in me. Even at 27, with a headful of hair, dreamy brown eyes, a boyish grin, and a full manly beard... I wasn't exactly the guy that all the gals were paying a lot of attention to at the Red Lion Pub that August night in 1982. But she did.

I'm pretty certain it was because I made her laugh.

Making people laugh has been my go-to for as long as I can remember. Some self-reflection a long time ago made me realize that my use of humor was a coping mechanism to compensate for some self-esteem issues that I had when I was a young boy. I was always the smallest boy in my class (and almost always the youngest.) When I was picked on about my size, I would just deflect it by making a joke. Not really the stereotypical class clown, just someone that used humor as a way of making people like me. And, for the most part, it worked. I also got (and I still get) a lot of satisfaction from making people laugh.

But, back to Carol. You know, not everyone appreciates a good laugh. Some folks are pretty serious minded all the time. I have to say though that little Carol Williams was a woman that LOVED to laugh. She comes from a family that loves to laugh. (That made me like them immediately.)

While I was still making her laugh, I convinced her that we should get married and, since we already had made up our minds about that, what was the point of a drawn out engagement? Let's just get it done. And so we did. And here we are.

So, why am I sharing all this with you? OK, you make her laugh... what's the big deal?

The big deal is that Carol was diagnosed with dementia in July 2016. I know the day, where I was sitting when I took the phone call, and I can probably tell you exactly what I was wearing. That was not a laughing kind of day. In fact, after the phone conversation with the doctor, I told my boss I needed to step out, I got in my car, and I rode around for about 40 minutes all the while crying like I hadn't done in a very long time. Not much laughing that day.

If you are curious, you can Google primary progressive aphasia and frontotemporal dementia. You may be familiar with Bruce Willis' medical condition. Same diagnosis.

Not exactly hilarious stuff.

But here's the deal. You just have to keep moving forward and try to make the best of the situation. Play the cards you've been dealt. If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Look for the silver lining in the dark clouds. You know... do all that stuff. I like a good idiom as much as the next guy. But, I'm not sure those were the exact words that I wanted to share with her when I got home. I didn't really know what to say or do. So I asked (and continue to ask) God to give me the strength, patience, and wisdom I need and to let me take the very best care of her that I am capable of.

Dementia is an insidious thief. It steals so much from those that suffer from it as well as robbing the family and friends around it.

But I am so thankful that it hasn't yet stolen her laughter and sense of humor. It also hasn't stolen the sweet, kind nature that any Carol lover knows is a hallmark of the kind of person she is.

So, going on 8 years into this journey, you know what we continue to do? We're still laughing. I can hear her cackling away (at all the appropriate times) while she is watching one of her favorite romantic comedies. She loves to laugh at all the dumb commercials from Geico, Liberty Mutual, Wendy's (Bag boy, bag boy whatcha gonna do...) She loves Sebastian Maniscalco, Leanne Morgan, and Nate Bargatze. It's a mystery to me how she can no longer really speak or understand words so much, yet laughs at the punch lines at the exact right times. Music and comedy truly are the best medicines for dementia.

My goal every day is to put a smile on her face and to make her laugh. Hey, it worked 41 years ago. She's been laughing at my shtick and my stupid jokes since.

I'm not about to stop making her laugh now.


Footnote: I've not really shared much on social media about Carol's diagnosis but, I figured after 7+ years, most people that we know fairly well already know because it's not like we've tried to keep it a secret. On the other hand, it hasn't been something I've shouted from the mountaintops. So, if you didn't know before... well, now you know. Prayers are always welcomed.

Thursday, February 9, 2023

Happy 1.4610 x 10⁴


Years

Yeah… that’s right. I took some math classes back last century and learned all about scientific notation. You know what else happened last century? I got married… it was 1.4610 x 10⁴ days ago.

A question to my married friends. When you were standing before the [minister, priest, rabbi, imam, judge, friend who got “ordained” online, city recorder, magistrate, sea captain (jk, sea captains can’t legally perform weddings in the US)] and were standing at/in [the altar, judge’s chambers, wedding chapel, cool outdoor wedding venue, in-law’s living room (as in my case,)] saying your vows to one another, were you thinking about 40 years down the road?

No need to answer. I’m pretty sure, if you answer honestly, the answer is No.

At that important moment, even (in some traditions,) when we make reference to this vow being applicable for a very long time (as in “’til death do us part,”) we are probably not really thinking that far into the future nor what that might look like. I mean, why would you?

I was probably thinking no more than the next 40 hours.

I wonder what might happen if, prior to our wedding, we were able to see a video of what our married life would look like 10, 20, 30, 40 years after "I do." Would it give us any pause?

Shortly after our engagement

I’ve shared this story before… I met, asked her out on our first date (August 26, 1982,) fell in love (shortly thereafter,) got engaged (December 6, 1982,) and married Carol all inside of 175 days. Certainly not the shortest “love at first sight” story but, probably shorter than yours. We were married in her parents’ living room with only 10 other people present to include her (and now our) dear friend Marshall, her former youth minister who performed the ceremony (great job Marshall!) When Marshall asked me if I would take this woman to be my wife, I was thinking more of that present moment than the future when I said Yes!

Anyone that has been married a while knows that marriage is a lot like a day at an amusement park that is full of every type of amusement ride ever constructed. Some of the rides are nice, easy, almost romantic ones like the Ferris wheel or the swan boat ride. Beautiful views, just the right pace, nothing really to fear, and you can even sneak in a smooch or two during the ride. Other rides are exhilarating; that nearly take your breath away and get your heart pounding higher than most cardiologists would recommend. Then there are the wilder roller coasters that turn and flip you every which way that introduce varying levels of fear while you hold on for dear life and, honestly, not really think about how your spouse is faring through the ordeal. Then there are certain rides that just hurt. They yank, pull, and jar you in ways that you didn’t anticipate when you read the warning that said “This ride is not recommended for pregnant women or anyone with back or neck problems.” The difference between marriage and a day at the amusement park is that, at the park, you get to avoid the ones you don’t want to ride. In marriage, the rides just come at you and you have no choice in whether you want to get on or not.

February 9th marks our 40th wedding anniversary. 1983 was a long time ago. I mean, Ronald Reagan was the US president. I think Abraham Lincoln immediately preceded him (I probably took more math classes than US history classes.)

On February 9, 1983, I had no clue what the next 40 years would hold. But I believed then, with all my heart, that I wanted all my tomorrows to be lived side-by-side with this cute brunette who was standing by my side at that moment.

And guess what? That’s exactly what has happened. And yes… we’ve experienced all the rides.

Loving, living, and staying with someone for 40 years is both the easiest and most challenging thing I have ever done. Carol likely gets credit for the “easiest” aspect. I and life itself probably account for the “challenging” part.

Do I wish I had done some things differently over those 40 years? Of course, I do.

Do I wish that there were elements of our life today that could be different than they are? Sure.

Some of you know what our current circumstance is. If I knew then what I know now, would I still have said Yes 40 years ago?

Absolutely. Unequivocally. Without a doubt. No need to even pause to think about it. 

But this is important. You should know that when I stood there on that Wednesday night 40 years ago (who gets married on a Wednesday btw?) I believed that I was pulling off the greatest heist in history… I had somehow managed to convince this incredibly sweet, beautiful, remarkable woman, that was so, so far out of my league, to marry… me. I still feel that way. She’s still way out of my league. And I still can’t help but feel like I got away with something.

I used to be thankful for every year that we had been given together. Nowadays I am thankful for each day we wake up together.

I love you, Carol Toomey. Happy 40 years together.

Today, I’m giving thanks to God for Day 14,610 as husband and wife.

I’ll think about Day 14,611 tomorrow.


40 years together


Sunday, January 29, 2023

Hang On, That's My Bad Side

 

Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up

I was reading an article today about a well-known TV personality wherein said personality disclosed the use of Botox (and multiple plastic surgeries) to try to maintain a more youthful look. The personality mentioned a bad Botox experience one time that had not only affected this person’s “bad side” but also caused a problem on the “good side.”

When we hear those two terms, we usually think about a person’s facial profile… as in “the right side of my profile is my good side.”

Good side, bad side.

(First off, when talking appearance, maybe a more positive viewpoint would be “good side/ better side?”) But I digress.

The article’s reference to good side/ bad side got me thinking beyond facial profiles.

Do all of us have a good side and a bad side?

How about with our demeanor?

What about the way we treat people?

How about how we handle conflict?

How about the way we live our life?

How about our business/work side versus our home/ personal side?

Are there two persons living inside each of us?

We all have seen people, when having their picture taken, turn a certain way relative to the camera or phone so as to show what they perceive to be their “good side.”

But don’t we also do the same thing with other aspects of our life?

Don’t we try to hide our “bad side?”

A favorite Christian songwriter of mine from back in the day is Bruce Carroll. In the 90s he recorded a song called “Shadow and Light.”

One of the verses says this:

” I am wise, I am a fool

A servant with a yen to rule

Good intentions and selfish schemes

A saint who soars on broken wings

Noble visions and narrow eyes

Contradictions side by side

Ogres and angels share my heart

Sometimes the battle tears me apart.”

We’ve all been there. Or are there.

Good side/ bad side. A life of shadow and light.

Depending on the width of this good side/bad side spectrum, our ability to cope, justify, explain, sleep at night, maintain relationships… greatly varies.

We can become overly fixated on our bad side. We can feel guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, and unworthy. We may feel like a fraud. Guess what? On some level, this is all of us.

To be sure, there may be aspects of our life and behavior that need serious examination and change.

While we should not fixate solely on our bad side, neither should we rest on our good side laurels.

We are obligated to acknowledge our human imperfection and strive to do better each day. Some of this might require some third-party help.

Bruce’s song goes on to say this:

“I am shadow, I am light

I am wrong and I am right

Sometimes shining oh so bright

Sometimes fading into night

Though You see this war in me

You know all that I can be

I am precious in Your sight

You walk with me through shadow and light.”

The “You” that Bruce references is the God Who created us and understands just who and where we are.

And He loves us despite ourselves.

Maybe some one-on-One conversation with Him about what you see as your good and bad side can help.

It has helped me.


“Shadow and Light” by Bruce Carroll

Songwriter(s): Paula Carpenter, Mark Comden, Geoff Thurman

Record Label: ©1995 Word Entertainment LLC, A Warner Curb Company



Sunday, April 26, 2020

If I Have It, I Hope I'm Symptomatic


Some symptoms are better than others

We are witnessing and experiencing a global pandemic of a novel coronavirus that has been labeled SARS-CoV-2. Many of us have gained a whole new glossary of terms that has been thrust onto our collective vernacular and we furiously attempt to learn all that we can about the virus and its resulting disease called COVID-19. One of the things we have learned is that people infected with the virus may or may not show any outward, noticeable symptoms. Testing is being done on several levels. Some of the testing is to confirm whether people with symptoms do, in fact have COVID-19 or some other viral infection like influenza. This allows doctors to know the appropriate course of treatment as well as how to deal with issues of quarantine, contact tracing, etc.. Some of the testing is to see if asymptomatic (not showing symptoms) people are, in fact, carrying the disease. Some of the testing is to see if people are carrying antibodies which would be an indicator of a "successful," previous exposure/infection. Symptomatic. Asymptomatic. If you have this disease, can anyone tell? Is it noticeable to you and others around you?

I have been thinking lately about the whole issue of symptoms. My wife and I were both sick in mid-March with symptoms that, at any other time, I would have simply attributed to a cold. But, not this time. I took temperature readings every 4-6 hours and continuously asked my wife a litany of questions to see if she was experiencing any of the known symptoms of COVID-19 (we didn't and it WAS just a cold.)

But, this blog post isn't about SARS-CoV-2 or COVID-19.

If anyone asks me if I am religious, if I'm a believer, what church I attend, or any number of other queries that might answer my "spiritual identity," I would answer that I am a Christian... a follower of Jesus Christ. The church I attend is very important to me... it is the fellowship of believers with whom my wife and I have been partnered since 1983. But, it is secondary to who I am. As a believer and follower of Christ, I know that the Holy Spirit "resides" in me as in other followers of Christ.

So, this brings me back to the title of this blog. If I Have It, I Hope I'm Symptomatic.

If I am a Christian, do I demonstrate any of the symptoms?

In addition to the commands from Jesus that we find in the Gospels, the 5th Chapter of the Book of Galatians provides a pretty good summary of what those "symptoms" should look like. The entire chapter reveals attributes that a believer should be living. But, there are two verses in particular, verses 22 and 23, that are simple yet powerful. These verses are typically described as defining the "fruits of the Spirit." The symptoms, if you will, of a person who is a Christ follower.

22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control..."

There are people walking around right now with the coronavirus inside of them... but you would have a hard time knowing it from observing them. There is very little that is noticeable from the outside... nothing that distinguishes them from all the other people walking around.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control

I hope I'm symptomatic. I want what is inside of me to be manifested on the outside. And, as opposed to a virus, this is one thing I am eager to share with others.


Friday, April 24, 2020

Coronavirus- All Part of God's Plan?



Several years ago I taught a series of Sunday School lessons under the general title of "Lies We Hear and Say at Church." "Lies" is a pretty strong word and, yes, I was trying to be a bit sensational. My very first lesson was on the lie we often say ourselves or hear others say when asked the question about how we are doing-- "Everything is fine." It's often a lie. But that's not the one I wanted to discuss right now.

In one of the other lessons I tried to address the issue of whether everything that occurs is "part of God's plan." While the whole world is struggling with the devastation of this novel coronavirus... the loss of life and the devastation to the world's economies, the question arises... "where is God in all this?" "Is this all a part of God's plan?" First, let me say... I cannot answer this question. But, let me share the lesson I taught all those years ago. Maybe it will be helpful. Maybe not. Here is my lesson copied and pasted into this blog. I will warn you... it's a good bit longer than what I usually blog.



“It’s All Part of God’s Plan?”
Isaiah 25:1–5  • Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago. 2 You have made the city a heap of rubble, the fortified town a ruin, the foreigners’ stronghold a city no more; it will never be rebuilt. 3 Therefore strong peoples will honor you; cities of ruthless nations will revere you. 4 You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in their distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall 5 and like the heat of the desert. You silence the uproar of foreigners; as heat is reduced by the shadow of a cloud, so the song of the ruthless is stilled.

Acts 2:22–2422 Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. 23 This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men put him to death by nailing him to the cross. 24 But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.


It’s said that in the language of the indigenous Maori people of New Zealand, the way one speaks of the past is to say, “the days in front” and the future is “the days behind.” The Maori see themselves as backing into the future. That seems a curious thing until you realize that the Maori have a pretty good point. Back when I was a kid, there were no such things as SUV’s or minivans. If you had a tribe of kids to haul around, you owned a station wagon. It was as long as a city block and the seats in the very back (where the unfortunate children had to sit) faced backwards. Our lives are like sitting in that back seat of a station wagon; we can easily see what is behind us, but it requires some effort to see what’s ahead of us, and even that we do not see clearly.

In fact, our ability to see even a few hours ahead into the future is extremely limited. None of us knows what the future will bring; even what will happen by the time this class ends. We can make some educated guesses and may likely be right in most of them when it comes to the immediate future. But the reality is that we cannot see into the future. Whether it’s in predicting the course of tropical storms, figuring out who’s going to win the election, or the winning lottery numbers, all we can do is make predictions using probabilities. All we can do is guess.

And that is frustrating to us much of the time.

Faced with that uncertainty, it is comforting to know that someone is at the wheel of the station wagon. Someone is driving this thing, someone who knows where we’re going.

And so, we tell ourselves, that while we cannot know exactly where we’re going, wherever it is, is part of God’s plan. God is in charge. And God’s a good driver so we can relax and enjoy the ride and the view out the back window.

Because of our future-blindness, all we can really do is attempt to interpret the past. And so, while we cannot predict with absolute certainty the things that will occur, we can contextualize and analyze the things that have occurred. And it is in the process of doing so that we often come up with the idea of a “plan”.

  • And we see that sentiment echoed in the scripture passages for today. A passage from Isaiah in which the prophet declares:

I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.


And also in the passage from the Book of Acts in which Peter is making his Pentecost Day Sermon to the crowds in Jerusalem. In it, he relays what is known as the kerygma, the core preaching of the Christian message: the story of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. As Peter tells it:

This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men put him to death by nailing him to the cross.

It’s important to remember that scripture does not drop out of the sky without any context. And that is certainly the case with the Book of Isaiah and the Book of Acts.

One of the main things Isaiah emphasizes in his writings is the Holiness and Sovereignty of God. The visible manifestation that Isaiah has of God in the Temple in the sixth chapter of that book is of a God sitting on a “high and exalted throne” surrounded by attending angels singing praises to God. The image of God as the great King of the Universe is found throughout the book of Isaiah and there is great emphasis on God’s sovereignty. Therefore, it only makes sense that the things that have occurred were “planned long ago.” It is important to note that the idea of a Divine Plan usually comes from the fact that you already believe in the sovereignty of God. The one necessitates the other.

The Book of Acts is the second part of a two-part work including the Gospel of Luke. This combined work, usually referred to as “Luke-Acts” has a number of prominent themes, among which is a special concern for Christian faith being shared among the Gentiles. By the time Luke-Acts was written sometime in the 80’s AD, the Christian movement had become a predominantly non-Jewish movement, in spite of its initial all-Jewish roots. As a result, there were many in the Jewish community who questioned Christianity’s legitimacy as a movement claiming the heritage of the faith of Israel. How could it, when very few of the followers were actual Israelites?

That’s why the Books of Luke and Acts makes the case over and over again that Gentile Christianity is God’s doing.

In addition, many Jews had trouble with the idea that the messiah was supposed to be crucified—something that seemed to be almost oxymoronic to them. And so, as Peter makes his speech to the crowds he notes that Jesus was crucified “in accordance with God’s established plan and foreknowledge.” Peter, by way of the Luke gospel, helps to interpret a problematic and difficult past in light of God’s overarching plan.

And so, we can see that appealing to God’s plan helps to assure the listener that it is not a random or chaotic series of events taking place, but elements of a divine plan “long established.” It can be a comfort in a time of confusion and uncertainty.


But for all this, there remain significant problems with the idea of a Plan governing ALL things.


  • Perhaps you’ve noticed this phenomenon: when a couple gets together and everything is going well, people will say, “Oh, they’re meant to be together.” And then, if they should break up, people will say, “Oh, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” We want it both ways.

One of my all-time favorite films is Lawrence of Arabia. There is a scene in the movie where the British officer T.E. Lawrence is leading the Arab army in a surprise attack against the Turkish guns at Aqaba. In order to do this, they must cross a dangerous and deadly desert and must cross the most dangerous section of it—the Anvil—at night, because it is deadly during the day. As they emerge, they discover that one man has been left behind—he has fallen off his camel somewhere back on the Anvil. Lawrence turns his camel around and heads back out to find him before the sun kills him. His Arab allies shout to him that there is no point—no one can survive the Anvil. It is written. Sometime later, Lawrence emerges from the desert in the middle of the day carrying the missing man. As the man is lowered down and given water, Lawrence says to his men “Nothing is written.”

Some time later they encounter another tribe whom they enlist to help them with the attack against Aqaba. Suddenly, there is a disturbance. One of the men in Lawrence’s group has murdered a man from the new group. The fragile alliance is about to fall apart, since the new group will be enraged if the man is not brought to justice, and the original group will be infuriated if the other tribe administers justice. Lawrence declares that he will carry out the sentence—as he is a member of neither tribe. When they bring forward the guilty party—it is the man who he had rescued from death in the desert. Pained and devastated, Lawrence executes the man. When the leader of the new tribe asks why Lawrence was so upset, he is told “The man he killed is that same man that he saved from the Anvil.” “Ah,” responds the first man. “It was written.”

See, one of the immediate problems with the idea of this Plan is that it only describes things that have already taken place. Which, when you think about it, really doesn’t serve the purpose of having a plan. What good is a plan when you can only know about it after it’s happened?

Now, to be fair there are those who claim to know God’s plan in advance. They make huge pronouncements usually about the end of the world. And they’re always wrong. And so, if the Divine Plan were made known to someone, that someone has yet to show up and be an accurate predictor. Not even the prophets claimed to have that ability.

So, even if there were some Divine Plan controlling everything, it’s not one that is made known to us, and therefore has little use for us. All we can do is watch it unfold and reflect on it after the fact. It doesn’t seem to invite us to participate.


  • Which leads us into the next problem: our role in all this. If the Divine Plan is equated with what actually happens, then it doesn’t seem that our choices matter in the slightest. In fact, have you ever heard anyone say, “Well, God planned for X but old Bill here, he just had to go and do Y”? No. If Bill goes and does something stupid, people will just shake their heads and say, “Well, I guess it’s all part of God’s plan.”

And so, it doesn’t seem that we have very much to do with God’s Plan, whatever it is. Now, to be fair, that’s kind of the point. Earlier, I noted that Isaiah strongly emphasized God’s sovereignty and as a consequence of that emphasis, the idea of God’s plan comes through. It is that same emphasis, by the way, that results in the Calvinist theology of predestination.

It was John Calvin’s realization that he could not account for why certain people seemed to respond to the Gospel and others didn’t. His only conclusion was that their responses for either good or ill were predetermined by God. Now, that flows out of a strong emphasis on the sovereignty of God. The consequence of that is that apparent choices are revealed to be part of a larger plan. Why should there be any emphasis on my making choices?

Now, perhaps God’s Plan only applies to the big things like earthquakes and football championships. Maybe my choice of soft drinks is in fact all my own. But where is the dividing line? How do I know when I’m making my own choices versus when I am simply acting out the choices planned for me? It becomes very hard to discern how an individual should act if it should turn out that some or all of our decision making is not really ours at all.

But those just wind up being interesting philosophical puzzles in the end. The biggest problem with the statement that something is “all part of God’s plan” is what it says about God.


Since God’s plan is not known to us, there is a layer of mystery that surrounds the entire thing. Now, I am not opposed to mystery, in fact, I think that it is an essential part of faith. And a healthy theology admits that there are things we cannot know about God. This is always to be preferred to a theology that basically reduces God to an old, white haired guy who basically shares all your political opinions.

But the result of this is that we maintain that God has a plan and that the things that have happened are part of that plan, then when we encounter something that we cannot understand, our only answer is “it’s a mystery.” Why did that accident happen? Why did my loved one have to die? Where is there such suffering? The answer that God’s ways are mysterious seems like a cop out. And, it presents a God who would rather remain unknown to us, which is precisely the opposite of the Gospel. The Gospel of the God walking through the Garden of Eden, revealing the Divine self to Moses and the Prophets, becoming incarnate in the person of Jesus. This does not sound like a God who is trying to remain aloof and inscrutable. This sounds like a God who is trying to be made known. The answer “It’s a mystery” sounds like the kind of thing a public official says when they say something is “classified”.


But by far, the greatest problem with the idea of a Divine Plan controlling every aspect of life is what it says about God’s character.

When people suffer a horrible experience—the death of a loved one, a life-threatening disease, an injustice, a rape—the desire to understand and to put into context is extremely strong. And the desire to be helpful for the friends and loved ones of the afflicted is likewise strong. And that’s why people say things like “It’s all part of God’s plan” because they hope to reassure the affected person with the idea that God is still in charge and that someone is still driving the station wagon.

But what is the implication of such a statement when you think about it? God planned for my loved one to die? God wanted me to get this disease? God planned for me to suffer this injustice? God wanted that young girl to be a sex slave?

What kind God is this anyway? While people intend the sentiment to be a comfort, all it does is reinforce the idea that God might actually be out to get you. How do you know that God’s plan doesn’t require you to experience some tremendous misfortune? How do you know that God’s divine plan doesn’t require you to suffer for reasons you cannot—and will not ever—fathom? What’s to say that God, for whatever mysterious reasons, has planned that your life is to be one of abject misery? What kind of God is this? Is this a God worthy of worship? Or a God worthy only of fear, like an Ancient Near Eastern despot, capricious and fickle, sacrificing the lives of the ordinary people because it amuses the King to do so? One wonders at the omnipotence and omniscience of a God who could not come up with some other way to affect the Divine purpose without such needless suffering.


But the simple truth is this: this is not the God we know. The God we know is the one revealed to us in Jesus Christ—and this is not a God aloof and disconnected or cruel and indifferent. The God we encounter in Jesus is a God of love and a God of solidarity. And a God who seeks our freedom.

That last point is the crucial one.

You cannot love someone if they are not free. If they do not have a choice in the matter. In order to truly love someone, you have to set them free. In order to be in relationship with someone, it has to be free. And God seeks relationship with us, God loves us, therefore, God must set us free.

And the consequence of our free will is that we will make choices that have terrible consequences. We will do the wrong things, we will cause pain and injury to each other. The injustices, the violence, the suffering, so much of it is the result of choices we make. The man killed in Lawrence of Arabia did not live because it was written; he did so because Lawrence chose to try to save him. Nor did he die because it was written that he must, it was the result of a choice that he had made to murder another person.

And I believe that God’s love is not confined to us, but to all creation. From the uncertainty that guides subatomic particles, to the dynamism of plate tectonics, to the power of wind and wave—we see freedom in the creation all around us. It is a freedom not only reflective of God’s love but also a freedom necessary for life. Without continental plates sliding around, without ocean currents and wind patterns, life would not be sustainable on this planet. It seems, then, that our very being is tied up with freedom, but also with the uncertainty and risk that that brings.

But there is one other thing about the God we know: this God is not removed from the suffering of the world, but is found in it. The power of the cross lies not in any magical properties, but in what it represents. The power of the cross comes in knowing that even in the midst of that profound brokenness, God is with us.

Life is not easy. It is full of challenge, sorrow, and pain. It is full of mystery and things we will struggle to understand. Throughout it all, we will be tempted to ascribe everything to a plan or to fate in order to make us feel better about knowing that someone is in control.

But when it comes to us, God does not seek to control us, but rather, He seeks for us to be free. And so, God has never promised us that everything would work out. God has never assured us that we would not suffer. God has never said that a life of faith was not without its risks; in fact, Jesus told us that a life of faith may cost us everything. But God has promised to be with us in all the times of our lives… in the times of joy and of sorrow, in celebration and in mourning.

God for sure has a great and perfect plan. What we can know is that He loves us and stands by us all the days of our lives—the days in front and the days behind—until the end of the age.


Thursday, September 19, 2019

I Hope You Learned Your Lesson


There are so many things that my parents and grandparents used to say to us as children. Looking back as an adult, I can now laugh about many of them. "Don't make me pull this car over." "Well, you should have thought about that before you did it." "If you don't stop that right now I'll really give you something to cry about." OK, maybe that last one still isn't funny.

Parenting styles have certainly changed over the 64 years I've been alive. Since I already have to see far too many of the "When I was growing up..." memes and comments by people of my generation on social media meant to somehow criticize the parents of today, I won't even go there.

Yesterday afternoon I drove to Home Depot to pick up some bags of mulch when, out of nowhere, I thought about an incident from my childhood (that frankly had nothing to do with lumber, hardware, or mulch.) I have no idea how or why it popped into my head. But it did.

My parents got divorced when I was very young and my mom, my older brother, younger sister, and I eventually moved in with my grandmother. Her name was Gertrude but we simply called her Gram. She was the most influential adult in my life until she passed away in 1985. I adored her and the very idea that I would ever disappoint her hurt far more than any spanking I ever received from her (and I received my share... she was old school when it came to discipline.)

1960s Central Square Keene, NH
The New Hampshire town where I grew up was a small city and, in the late 1950's and early 1960's, most kids I knew were pretty much free range kids endlessly playing outside and riding our bikes. There was an understood territory beyond which I wasn't supposed to wander. No particular reason other than to keep us from getting too far from the house. That being the case, most of my closest play friends lived within about a half mile radius from our house.

My best friend's name was Ronnie and he lived on the street behind ours; the same cul-de-sac type street (we just called it a dead end) as the Batchelor family. The Batchelors had a son who was my older brother's age and a daughter named Jane... we all called her Janie. I'm not really sure how old Janie was at the time. I guess I always thought she was about the same age as we were since she played outside with us just about every day. But, reflecting years later, I'm sure that Janie may have actually been a young adult at the time. She was bigger than the rest of us, wore very thick glasses, always wore a dress and "street shoes," and, when outside, she always seemed to be riding her adult-sized tricycle. We knew that Janie was what we now describe as intellectually disabled. From my earliest recollection, my grandmother told us in no uncertain terms that we were to play with her and treat her kindly and to never make fun of her. But, Janie could get very bossy and would sometimes say some strange things with a voice that sounded different and not as clear as ours.

One day, I got so frustrated with Janie that I said something to her that was just mean and hurtful and she started crying and went inside her house. I'm not exactly sure how my grandmother found out about it, but she found out that very same day.

I had never seen my grandmother so angry. I had broken a cardinal rule of behavior that I knew better than to ever do. I don't really remember if there was any corporal punishment involved. What I do remember though (aside from her initial anger) was the look and posture of complete disappointment that she displayed when she confronted me. She proceeded to give me a lecture about what I had done and how terribly wrong it was. The more she talked, the more my heart was pierced with shame and guilt. I cried myself to sleep that night and, early the next day, I promptly went over to Janie's house (she was outside on her bike) and I apologized to her which made me cry again. And I remember the only thing Janie said was "don't ever do that again." And from then on we continued to be friends playing in the street until we moved away a few years later.

Another thing our parents and grandparents would say after we did something wrong like touching a hot stove or some other dumb kid thing was... "I hope you learned your lesson." That day, on a street named Boston Place, in Keene, NH, I learned a lesson that I have never forgotten.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Why Georgia?

Greetings from Georgia

About a year and a half ago I wrote a blog titled Why Florida? (link) Six months earlier, we had packed up everything we owned, loaded a truck (or 2) and trekked 400 miles south, rented a house, and became residents of Florida. About six months later, we sold our old house in Georgia. Carol had moved away from the only town she had ever really lived and, that I had lived for over 45 years (you can read the blog I linked above to to see why we moved.)

But the main reason why we moved to Florida has now changed. Because Florida wasn't ever going to be our permanent home, we had to make a decision of where we would live next. We are blessed to both be retired and honestly, we can choose to live anywhere we want. But, no matter where we live, we need it to be a place that can be "home." Back in 2012, when our daughter and son-in law were living in Korea, I wrote a blog titled Where's Home? (link) While the idea of moving to some exotic place sounds tempting... the beach, the mountains... some foreign country (I loved the idea of living in Ecuador,) the truth is, no matter where you live, you still have to wake up on Tuesday morning and live your life. In most cases, people choose where to live, during their working years, by where the job takes them. When that is not an issue, what is the appropriate criteria of where to live?

So many beautiful places in America
Based on my own travel experiences, if I wanted to live where the overall weather was great, I'd live in San Diego. If scenic beauty was the priority, I might move to Breckenridge, or Sedona, or Bar Harbor, or Naples, or... (honestly, there are way too many to list.) If I wanted to live where the overall surroundings and lifestyle are appealing, I'd live in Blowing Rock, or Asheville, or Charleston, or Knoxville, or Chattanooga. If I wanted to live in a place that is vibrant, I'd live in Nashville, or Athens, GA (or most any SEC college town for that matter... but not Gainesville...can't live in Gator country.) There are so many places where I have loved spending time... San Francisco, Chicago, Boston, New Orleans, but... I wouldn't want to live there.

We have two beautiful grandchildren. We loved living near them when they were here in Florida. But, they are now in NE North Carolina. We could always move there and remain just a few minutes away. That idea was very, very tempting. But, just like our last move, we didn't know a soul (except our kids and grandkids) here in Florida, and we wouldn't know a soul in Moyock, NC.

So, we've decided, despite the difficulty of the decision, that it is time to go "home" ...back to the area where we previously lived. In 2016, Carol was diagnosed with some memory related challenges (although she is still doing remarkably well.) My first priority was and is to do what is best for her. Our son lives in Augusta and will be getting married in November. We'd like to be nearby as he and our daughter-in-law embark on the beginning of their married life. We have a church in Augusta that we have been a part of since 1984. We have all of Carol's doctors in Augusta. Carol's sister and her husband are nearby. And there are some other important people in Augusta. As her husband, I can serve in many capacities for her... but there is one thing I cannot be...her girlfriend. She (and I) have some very special people in our life that, for decades, we have called friends. I think it is important for Carol to have her girlfriends nearby. I mean, she needs someone to whom she can complain about her husband!!

HaRVy- our 38 foot home on wheels, pulling Dolly and Taurus
If you follow or occasionally read my blogs, you know that we purchased a motorhome. Our daughter, son-in-law, and grandkids live 450 miles away from Augusta. Since traveling has become more difficult for Carol, we discovered that traveling by motorhome, allowing her to wake up in familiar surroundings (albeit smaller,) makes it easy for us to visit and spend time away from where our house is.

So, while we are now officially renters in Evans, GA... we will keep our motorhome HaRVy busy as he takes us to reuinite with our other family members and with friends as often as I can afford to put gas in him.




Where we belong

Why Georgia? Well, it just seemed like that is where we are supposed to be.

Monday, September 9, 2019

Ignore It and It Will Go Away

You've heard people say this haven't you? Maybe it is something irritable that is bugging you and a friend tells you to just ignore it... says it will resolve itself on its own.


I remember seeing a billboard advertisement for a dentistry practice many years ago that said, "Ignore Your Teeth! (And They Will Go Away")

Last week was my birthday. Always thankful when the ol' life odometer flips to the next number. But it wasn't a very happy birthday. A couple of days beforehand, I started having severe pain in one of my teeth. And since it happened to be a tooth that had previously been crowned, I knew this was probably not going to end well... likely I was going to need either a root canal or, heaven forbid, an extraction. That back molar had cracked several years before and I apparently waited too long to have it crowned. When the dentist removed the crown and drilled down to verify the condition of the tooth and begin the process for the root canal, it turned out that the crack was pretty significant and the whole tooth was nearly split down the middle.


In 2009, I was fortunate to go on my 2nd mission trip to Ecuador. This trip was a medical mission trip and a few of us non-medical folks were there to assist the physician, nurses, clinicians, pharmacist, and the one dentist on the team. Turns out, I was assigned to help Dr. Rhoda Sword, our dentist.

The instruments
One of many teeth Dr. Sword extracted


Oh, she didn't let me anywhere near a patient's mouth... our job was to assist with setting up the trays of instruments,  supplies, etc., hold the light, and to clean and sterilize the multiple sets of instruments afterwards. It was fascinating to help and observe. Being in the remote areas of Ecuador, the primary treatment was extraction of damaged, unhealthy teeth. The people were so thankful to finally be rid of terrible tooth pain. But after witnessing dozens of extractions and the nearly medieval looking instruments involved in the process, I made a silent wish to never have to have that done in my mouth (I was asleep during my wisdom teeth removal.)

Fast forward 6 years, which was 2 years into my retirement... January 2015 I decided to go back to work. I applied for a job at a local dental laboratory. It was a great job for a former retiree... they were looking for a delivery driver. My job was to pick up and deliver "cases" to area dentist offices. Our lab made custom titanium abutments, crowns, and bridges (and other fixed prosthodontics.) Being nearly 60 years old, I found myself immersed in a whole new world that I had nearly zero knowledge of but, I needed to learn in order to perform my job well. Dr. Geoffrey Sheen is a prosthodontist (with a full-time dental practice) and is the owner of Mustard Seed Dental Studio (a dental laboratory) which is right next door to his practice. He was my boss and is the type of boss who doesn't just operate a business, he has a teacher mindset and believes that the people who work for him need to know so much more than just performing their specific job task. He teaches. I am the curious type and was fascinated with the whole world of dentistry and the dental lab. I acquired a whole new vocabulary that I previously had no clue about. I began to understand far more about teeth and how they are restored than I ever thought I would want to know. I kept asking questions, and he kept on teaching. (By now I was no longer the delivery driver... I was in charge of production and handled much of the customer service.) Two years ago, I left my job at Mustard Seed so my wife and I could move to Florida to be near our grandchildren. But...I left with a head full of knowledge that I would have otherwise never have known had I not gone to work for Dr. Sheen, one of the most brilliant people I have ever worked for or with.

So, let's get back to my tooth. Only because of what I learned while working at the dental lab, here's what I know. The dentist told me that my #31 (2nd molar... it's a mandibular molar...meaning it is a lower molar mesial to #32 which had previously been removed because it was a wisdom tooth) needed to be extracted. He also said that a bone graft would be needed and recommended the immediate placement of a dental implant, which would later be restored with an abutment and crown. Knowing that we would be leaving Florida in a little more than 3 weeks, I was troubled that one dentist would place the implant and another dentist would be doing the rest of the work (this is not unusual however, since it is not uncommon for oral surgeons, for example, to place an implant to later be restored by a dentist.) But, I now knew a bit about implants since Dr. Sheen did this nearly every day in his prosthodontic practice and we worked with implant cases every day at the dental lab. I asked him what brand of implant was he planning to use.
osseointegration under microscope
At this point, I should explain that a titanium dental implant is a medical device that is placed into the bone of the maxilla (if an upper tooth) or the mandible (lower.) The dentist or surgeon will cut the gum to expose the bone and drill the appropriate sized hole for the specific implant being placed. Through an amazing process of the human body called osseointegration, the cells of the bone, over time, actually adhere firmly around the titanium; its almost like the implant becomes part of the bone.

There are many different designs, sizes, and brands of dental implants. Each have various characteristics that the manufacturers claim are better or more suited to particular applications. I was familiar with nearly all the leading brands as well as the various clones of the brands that were more "open source" type, if you will. What I knew was that I didn't really want one that I had never heard of or was proprietary. If proprietary, it would possibly mean that the abutment which would be delivered later to support the crown, would probably have to be a stock abutment. Custom abutments are preferred since they can be designed to more exactly fit the unique patient's need as far as size, shape, angle, emergence profile and several other benefits that I cannot remember off the top of my head. When the dentist showed me the implant in the box, I realized that it was an implant brand that I had never heard of.  So, after extracting the tooth and getting all set up to do the bone graft (to restore the bone loss) and perform the implant placement, I said that I didn't want the implant placed... only do the bone graft. (Let me say here that the dentist, who was able to see me on very short notice, was excellent, very capable, and professional.) I just knew that, in 3 weeks, I would never see him again and he used an implant brand I was totally unfamiliar with. By not immediately placing the implant, I was choosing to push out the treatment plan timetable by 4-6 months or more... meaning, I would be without a #31 tooth for that much longer. And I had something else I needed to keep in mind. When we lose a tooth, it is not uncommon for the teeth that are distal to (meaning farther from the midline, or front of your mouth) the missing tooth to move. If I had lost #30 (1st molar) instead and still had #31, #31 could actually move mesially (towards the front) and begin to move into the space left where #30 was removed. But, since it was #31 I was having extracted, I don't have a tooth behind it to move forward. So, no worries there.

But here's another fascinating thing about teeth. Even though I don't have to worry about an adjacent tooth moving into that empty spot, I still have to realize that #31 had a partner. It's the tooth above it... #2, my upper 2nd molar. It is what is called the opposing tooth. You know how it's said that it takes two to tango? It also takes two to chew. You can't clap with one hand and you can't chew without an upper and lower tooth. My upper #2 has now (temporarily) lost its partner. Yes, I can chew on my right side with my upper and lower 1st molars but, those 2nd molars, which are typically larger, do it really well. But its not just chewing. When our upper and lower teeth are in occlusion (like when our teeth are clenched) the upper and lower teeth "fit" together a certain way (although there are different "classes" of bite.) In the more common Class 1 bite, the upper teeth overlap the lower teeth slightly.
As an example, an upper #3 1st molar contacts the #30 opposing 1st molar as well as the #31 2nd molar behind #30. But, because I now have no #32 or #31, my #2 upper molar makes no contact with anything when I bite. I've now left him hanging, at least temporarily. One option is to do nothing as far as replacing my newly lost molar. I mean I still have 27 other teeth to handle all my chewing needs. But, our teeth are amazing. Because #2 now has no opposing tooth, it is possible that my now 52 year old #2 molar could start to change. Teeth that lose their opposing tooth and now have no occlusal contact in maximum intercuspation (they don't touch any opposing tooth when you bite down) can begin to grow (erupt) as if seeking out its partner. In worst cases, they can, what is called, super-erupt, which, in addition to making it longer, can also make the tooth unstable. Our jaw bones are continuously trying to push our teeth out and it is the contact with opposing teeth that keeps our teeth in the proper position... maintaining the correct occlusal plane.
super-erupted molar

Dr. Sheen has reassured me that if we get the dental implant done in a reasonable time, even though I have extended the timetable due to my being "dangerous" with my still woefully incomplete dental knowledge, I shouldn't worry about my #2 upper molar going rogue and starting to get longer.

So, if you've made it this far you are likely thinking... "doesn't Mike think he is so smart throwing around all those dental terms and trying to show how smart he thinks he is and trying to impress somebody." But, you would be wrong. If I was so smart I would have taken much better care of my teeth and wouldn't have gotten all those cavities during my younger years, leading to all those fillings which eventually led to tooth failures that led to having to need more dental work done.

Ignore your teeth. And they will go away. I once had 32 permanent teeth (4 of which were wisdom teeth which I had removed.) That left me with 28. I really had hoped to make it to heaven with all 28 of my remaining, God-given teeth. But alas... I must say goodbye to my #31... 2nd molar. But, he'll be back soon made of titanium and ceramic. I'll take better care of him this time.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Stretching Our Legs- On the Road With HaRVy


Prior to a couple of weeks ago, our RV trips were limited to a quick camping trip in Florida (1 hr from where we live) and a couple of trips to Georgia. But, our most recent trip saw us stretching our legs a bit. Our final destination was to visit my sister and family in Ft. Wayne, IN. This trip involved several firsts for us.
  • First time not towing our car... the morning we were to leave, there was a severe thunderstorm and the rain was heavily pouring down. I didn't think it would be safe to try to connect the tow dolly and load the car in such terrible weather so... we left Dolly and Taurus behind.
  • First time the dogs accompanied us. Our two 70 lb dogs rode with us from Florida to Georgia where my son was going to dog-sit them while we traveled. The 9-hr trip to Georgia confirmed that our MH is just not big enough to share with 150# of furry love.
  • First time driving the motorhome through the mountains (more on this below)
  • First time at a full hook-up campground... we could shower for as long as we wanted!
  • First time we have driven HaRVy in SC, NC, TN, KY, OH, or IN. So, we can now fill in 8 of the lower 48 states if we had one of those fill-in, sticker thing maps.
  • First time finding out why it is important to have 75 ft or more of fresh water hose with you. The distant water connection we shared with about 10 other campers looked like Clark Griswold's electrical connection in "Christmas Vacation." There were Y fittings on Y fittings. Surprisingly good water pressure nonetheless.
  • First time buying Hemp Oil (more on that below)
The morning we left I was actually relieved when I made the decision to leave the car at home. I freely admit, I had some concern with HaRVy's ability to negotiate the steep grades of the Blue Ridge Mountains. By "negotiate," I mean get up the hill and not kill us going back down the hill. Anyone that has traveled on I-26 between Columbus, NC and Hendersonville, NC has experienced Howard Gap and the Green River Gorge. There is actually a maximum grade allowed in the construction of the Interstate Highway System of 6% (with some exceptions made in certain terrains for 7%.) This section of I-26 is one of those exceptions.

My concerns of whether our 12-year old 496 cubic inch engine/ Allison transmission powertrain was going to get us over the "hill" as we crossed the Eastern Continental Divide were unfounded. HaRVy downshifted as needed and we topped the steepest grade in the center lane doing 55 mph. Good boy! I'm sure if we had been pulling the car we would have been doing more like 45 but... it would have been just fine. All the while, my engine temperature never moved even with the AC running.

We spent the night at a state park just off I-75 in TN and left the next morning to push towards the Kentucky bluegrass and the cornfields and wind turbines of Ohio and Indiana. Crossing the Ohio River from Kentucky into downtown Cincinnati was pretty cool despite traffic coming to a complete halt/ slowdown for a few miles due to an accident. I guess it was an accident... it was all gone by the time we got there. The fun of interstate traveling.

Morning stillness at Johnny Appleseed Park.
Ft. Wayne's Johnny Appleseed Park campground was teeming with campers due to the week long Three Rivers Festival scheduled to start that weekend. But we were there for only 2 reasons... to spend some time with my sister, her family, and her darling grandchildren.... and to see our favorite Russian band in concert. More on them here.

Our "almost" Plan B overnight stop at Cracker Barrel
After 3 days in Ft. Wayne, it was hugs, goodbyes, and time for the return trip. By now, we had logged 1100 miles. I would say we had definitely stretched out legs a bit. Our next
overnight stay in Kodak, TN at Dumplin' Valley Farm RV park almost didn't happen because I could not reach them late on a Saturday afternoon and had to leave a message. In the meantime, we stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat and to see if we could overnight there as Plan B. All the other nearby campgrounds were full and it was getting late. Our view would have been the rear of Cracker Barrel. While we were eating, Dumplin' Valley called me back and said come on.

The picture at the top of this page (and these here) show why I wanted to spend the night at Dumplin' Valley. It was beautiful. I set up in a soft rain as the sun went down and when we woke up the next morning, we soaked in the beauty of this working farm.

We arrived in Augusta, GA later that day after "negotiating" the I-26 grades again and were reunited with our son and dogs. We made a stop along the way at the Farmer's Market in Asheville where we purchased some hemp (aka CBD) oil. Why? Because one of our two dogs experienced some anxiety on the original drive up. While in Augusta, we also purchased a crate which she seems to like during times of stress. The morning we left for the return leg to Florida, I gave her some oil and got her comfortable in her new crate. Not sure which helped the most but, she did much better on her 2nd time in the motorhome.

2200 miles covering 8 states. It was a great trip and hopefully, is just the start of some leg stretching in the future. It felt pretty good! Next trip? August 5th to visit the grandkids in their new home in NE North Carolina. Can't wait!