Sunday, October 30, 2011

It's good to have all the answers

what do you believe about the Bible?
On Saturday, there was a guest column in the Religion section of the Augusta Chronicle, our local paper, written by Lt. Col. Mark Thompson, one of the chaplains at Fort Gordon. Based upon the number of online comments the article has generated, clearly his column was controversial. His article is linked here: Mark Thompson article in Augusta Chronicle

The title of the column was "Too many turn the Bible into God." At face value, I agree with the title of his column but my agreement with his positions cited pretty much end there. We are not supposed to worship anything but God but I do agree that some elevate the Bible to be essentially a "god" in and of itself. I will not attempt to take a point / counterpoint approach to the various positions in his article.

Thompson states that he has never wavered from his belief in Jesus Christ. He further states that we must love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. No argument there. He goes on to say "However, we are also called to love our neighbor as we love ourselves." I'm not sure why he felt the need to include the word "however" unless he believes that somehow we are getting Part 1 right but not doing so well with Part 2. Better yet, Jesus himself called these "greatest commandment and second greatest commandment." I might argue that unless we are doing part 2, we are not really doing part 1 either. Maybe you could say that Part 1 is to tell God you love Him, Part 2 is to show God that you love Him...how? by loving others. I should point out that my only knowledge of Jesus' response to the question that generated the answer about loving God and loving others is what I read in the Bible so, is this point up for debate?

Three of his comments bothered me:

"It is a book about God that was written, translated, and canonized by the same men who in turn declared it to be the actual Word of God."


"Moreover, I believe that sometimes the Bible is wrong."


"I do, however, believe that in the end every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess. That, in essence, is universal salvation, but the very idea is offensive to so many in the church."

I do have some questions for Lt. Col. Thompson...maybe his answers would help me better understand some of the points he makes.

Do you believe...

That Jesus is God? Do you accept the traditional understanding of the Trinity?
What was the purpose of Christ's death on the cross? Was it to pay the penalty for my sin (and yours?)
Was there any significance to the shedding of His blood?
Was Jesus raised from the dead? How and why?
What is your definition of grace? of salvation?
What happens when we die?
How would you define the "kingdom of God?"
Do you believe that some part of us (our soul, spirit??) lives on for eternity?
What is your understanding of heaven?
Do you believe that there is an eternal "place" commonly referred to as hell?
If I "confess with my mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead"...what then? If I only do that after I die, what then?
If not the "Word of God", what then is the purpose (if any) of the Bible?
If not from Scripture, how do you know what you know about Christ and God's intent for our lives?
How do you interpret Christ's answer to Thomas "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" as recorded in John 14:6?

I probably have about 100 more questions but I'll start with these. One of the issues that I have with those that are critical of the more "traditional" understanding of what the Bible is, who wrote it, and the issue of its trustworthiness is that, after stating their position, they don't seem to go on with answering the question "what's your point?"

During my years as a youth Sunday School teacher, students would frequently say that they did not believe what a particular passage of scripture said. Doubting that the student was so proficient in either Greek or Hebrew and he/she was disagreeing because the English translation was not accurate, I would ask why the student didn't believe what it said. If it was a supernatural account, certainly it might be that the student didn't believe that the passage was to be taken literally. OK, why not? Do you think it is not possible that what was described could have occurred? If not a supernatural event, the most common answer I would receive is "I just don't think God would do that." Why not? Eventually it might just end with that same answer. The student's understanding of God, God's love or God's "fairness" would ultimately prevail for them and, if it was at odds with a particular passage, that passage may be "disregarded." OK...I understand. I believe that scripture should be viewed through the lens of Christ.

Some would argue that one of the reasons that the church has seen a decline in attendance and perceived relevance is fundamentalism...others would say liberalism. Yes, I agree.

I don't have all the answers. But I continue to seek them. What I do know is that I have a personal relationship with a person by the name of Jesus. He is my Lord. I trust in Him. He loves me and I love Him. I want to live my life in accordance to how He lived His and how He has told me to live. And I rely on prayer, reading the scriptures and the presence of the Holy Spirit to know how to live and love. And I believe those scriptures to be trustworthy. When Paul spoke to the people in Berea, the Bible says "now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." (emphasis mine) (Acts 17:11) Notice it wasn't the other way around. I think the Bereans got it right.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Admit that I am wrong? No way.

Since my last post concerned my son, it seems only fair that I share a story about my daughter. Carol and I always tried to be a consistent voice when it came to decisions concerning our children. For example, if one of them asked me if he/she could have permission to do something, I automatically would ask if he/she had asked their mother. If he/she said yes, I would then ask "what did she say?" If he/she said "she said no" then I would rub my chin, sigh deeply, give the look of being in deep thought and would then say "well, I agree with her, I don't think it's a good idea." (they typically would ask if it was OK to appeal to the other parent) If I did have a disagreement with Carol's decision, I might later go talk to her to see if we could come to a consensus. Most times, she would show me why her original decision was the correct one. On a few rare occasions, she would agree with my position. One of us would go back to him/her and say that we had changed our minds and gave permission. But we didn't "argue" the issue in front of them.

Hey Dad, modest enough?
When Jessica was growing up, we both thought it was important and appropriate that she dress modestly. When she was in her teens, this sometimes became a source of disagreement between parents and child. In this regard, Carol was a bit more strict than I was. Carol acknowledged, as Jessica became an older teen, that she was probably too strict and so she decided that Dad would be the one to decide if an outfit was appropriate. When they would go shopping for clothes, Carol would agree that Jessica could buy something even if she thought it was too tight, too short or too revealing with the understanding that Dad would have to agree that the clothes were OK in order to not have to return them. Usually, Jessica would just put it back if Mom disagreed with her choice. But sometimes Jessica would appeal to Dad.

One time, Jessica had tried to convince Carol that a certain blouse she wanted (or top? I don't know the lingo for girl clothes) was not too low cut. Carol didn't like the particular top because she thought it was too revealing. But, the deal was she could bring it home and show it to Dad.

not sure why I added this picture
When they got home, I heard about the garment in question. So, I asked Jessica to put it on so I could see. She came back into the room and the blouse did appear to me to be a little too low cut and told her so. Jessica thought I was crazy...it wasn't any lower cut than what she wore to church the previous Sunday, she said. I told her that she was just wrong about that. What she wore on Sunday was just fine but this new top was too low. The argument continued. So I said we would solve this once and for all. I got a ballpoint pen and drew a dot on her chest at the lowest point revealed by the blouse. Then I told her to put on what she had worn on Sunday. While she was away, I confidently told Carol that we would not be able to see the dot because the Sunday blouse would cover it up since that top was not as low cut.

Jessica returned into the room after her wardrobe change and to our amazement, there was the dot I drew clearly visible a good 1/4 inch above the lowest point of the "acceptable" blouse. Carol even verified that Jessica hadn't drawn a 2nd dot just to fake us out. Nope...same dot I drew.

All I could say was "you are right...I was wrong...you can keep the blouse."

Jessica walked away with a broad smile on her face because Daddy had admitted he was wrong (I am wrong a lot...admitting it...well, that's another matter.) But you know, admitting when you are wrong is not always easy or fun but we really shouldn't be so stubborn about it...even if that admission is to one of our children. Or maybe I should say especially if it is to one of our children.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Don't make promises you don't intend to keep

In a previous blog I wrote about parents that I label as "screamers"...they threaten their children but don't seem to ever actually do anything resembling consistent discipline.

I have hesitated to write about personal family stories but thought I might share some that you might find humorous or helpful. I am confident my family will not mind.

When our son was in his middle school years his homework habits were not exactly optimal. Much like his father was at that age, I'm sure. In his bedroom we had set up a wall unit that included a desk area. Because of his ability to get distracted when he was doing his homework, my wife told him that he needed to keep his bedroom door open if he was going to do homework in his bedroom...so we could keep an eye on his study efforts as we walked to and fro through the house.

One one occasion, I had come home late from work and was eating in the kitchen, where I could clearly see down the hallway that included his bedroom and the laundry room. Carol was going back and forth from the various "hamper areas" back to the laundry room as she did the laundry. On one of those trips she noticed that Michael had gently eased the door closed. I'm sure it was because he was trying to avoid the noise of the washer or dryer....yeah right. When Carol opened his door, she discovered that he was playing with his Gameboy (remember..this was a few years ago) or some other device...but clearly not doing his homework. She reminded him about the rule about studying in the bedroom and keeping the door open. In her frustration I clearly heard her say "if you close this door one more time when you are supposed to be doing your homework, I am going to have your father remove the door." I doubt that Carol even knew that I heard this but I filed it away in my mind wondering when the next "door closing" was going to occur.

Several days later...maybe even a couple of weeks, I was again late coming home from work and was eating my leftover supper in the same exact spot where I heard Carol's "promise" about the door.

"Michael, didn't I tell you to keep this door open when you are doing your homework?" was the next thing I heard. She continued down the hall and that was the end of the matter.

I wiped my mouth with my napkin, got up from the table and proceeded into the laundry room where I used to keep a few of my hand tools. I grabbed a large screwdriver and a hammer and headed to Michael's room where I began tapping out the hinge pins from his door. Carol came back around the corner and said "what are you doing?" Turning my back so that Michael couldn't really hear me I said "didn't you tell Michael that if he closed his bedroom door one more time when he was supposed to be doing homework that you would have me remove the door? ...well, I'm removing the door."

You know the way that people will sorta whisper with that funny expression out the side of their mouth? Well, Carol did that while quietly saying "I wasn't really serious!"

Well, I took it seriously because I think if you tell your child that something will happen if they do something (good or bad) you should follow through on it. This is also a good reason not to exaggerate things like that in either direction. Now, if she had said that his punishment would be that we would lock him up in the trunk of the car all night...that's a ridiculous and inappropriate thing (don't say those kinds of things either.)

So, I went on with my door removal activity. Michael's mouth was wide open the entire time but I don't remember him ever saying anything. He heard what his mother told him about the door (and remembered it) and he now saw me doing what she said I was going to to. And Carol was in agreement that the door needed to come off because that's what she said would happen even if she didn't intend her statement to him to be taken literally.

Michael's door remained off the hinges (and out of his room) for a couple of weeks...maybe longer. It wasn't long before word got out to his friends about his door and a few would ask him "Michael, got your door back yet?"

Promises are important things. We all make them and break them. But we shouldn't break them. And we shouldn't make promises that we don't really intend to keep. That story probably has had more impact on me over all these years than it did Carol or Michael. It is a reminder to me to try my best to keep my promises. I don't want to just be a promise maker.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Your past sometimes catches up with you

I have some bad news
I received an interesting phone call today at my sign store. A prospective customer called inquiring about some signs (duh...we're a sign shop.) He told me his name (we'll call him Joe) and said that we worked together at the company I was previously with. He went on to say that he was one of the ones caught up in the "big layoff of 2001." Partially recalling the name, I sheepishly asked him if I was the one that laid him off. He said yes. I asked him a couple more verifying questions, all of which he answered in the affirmative. Uh oh...my past was coming back to haunt me.

Here was someone from whom I sat across a desk in the Human Resources Department to inform that his job with the company was over. He had to go home that day and try to explain to his family how and why he no longer had a job. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only person I laid off that day...I think he was the 6th (and final) one to whom I had to deliver this devastating news. One of the worst parts of it was that I couldn't really articulate a sensible reason as to why he had to lose his job. Oh, I had the company line that we delivered but, in my heart of hearts, it didn't really make good sense to me.

He took the news very well. He didn't get angry or start to cry or (heaven forbid) attack me with a folding chair or the letter opener on the desk. He was calm...almost peaceful about it. I told him that the Human Resources person would go over the various financial, insurance, severance details with him. In the meantime I waited for him to finish his paperwork so I could walk with him back to the building at the rear of our sprawling campus. I'll admit that I was regretting having to make that 10 minute walk with him but I wasn't about to make him make that walk alone.

Just about a year earlier our company was merged with another, greatly increasing the size of the company but causing much redundancy, including in my area- Customer Service. I went from having 100 or so employees to more than double that...now including people in Wisconsin, Ohio, North Carolina, and Nebraska. It was later decided to close one of the locations in Wisconsin. That meant that, except for the few that were offered and accepted transfers to the Charlotte location, the remainder of the 18 employees I had there would be laid off. When I flew up to Wisconsin I was going to be meeting most of my "new" employees for the first time. And I was going to tell them that they no longer had a job. The day began early as they came in one by one to hear first hand from me that they were being let go. The first one to cry was a man in his late 50's who had been with the company probably since I was in college. A couple of the ladies also cried. This was awful for them. Oh, it was no fun for me but c'mon...I was a VP and wasn't losing my job...my career...my paycheck.

I chose to retire early (well I was there for almost 33 years) in part because of that day in Wisconsin. I just didn't want to do that anymore. I know that layoffs, restructuring, RIF's...whatever you want to call it are a part of the business world...and even necessary in many cases. But I just couldn't stomach being a part of that kind of activity anymore. That doesn't mean that I will never have to let an employee go again but, at least I will be the one making that decision...not just picking which one it has to be.

So, let's get back to my long walk with "Joe." I asked him as we walked back if he was going to be alright because I was just about to break down myself and lose my composure. Sensing this, he put his arm around my shoulder as guys tend to do and gave it a squeeze and said, "Hey, it is going to be fine...I don't want you to be upset about it...you were just doing what you had to do." He went on to tell me that he was a part-time minister and had been praying for God to give him some guidance about what to do about his ministry. He said that the layoff may have been just what he needed to happen so he could make some decisions about that. My intent in walking back with him was to offer some consolation and here he was lifting me up and telling me that  maybe his job loss was an answer to prayer. Now I was really in tears feeling guilty about what had happened to him but at the same time overwhelmed with the grace and compassion he was extending to me. I have never forgotten that day and that 10 minute walk with him.

You see, in a real way, he was an answer to my prayers too. I had been feeling the tug to move on to whatever God had next in store for me. Not too long after this, I had made up my mind to step away from a career that had been so good to me and my family to see what I was supposed to do next.

Turns out it was to buy a sign company. "Joe" called me today to ask me if I would look at some signage at an historic church downtown that needs to be changed because his church has taken over the building.

So as to provide all the facts, "Joe" called me because his "day job" is working for a company that includes another former employee (no, I didn't lay him off) that recommended me when he heard that "Joe" was looking for some signs. That little clarification does not in the slightest way change the amazing turn of events of our re-connection. It has been almost 10 years since "Joe" and I took our seemingly insignificant walk and had that very God-filled conversation.

Sometimes our pasts do catch up with us. And thank the Lord they do.

Monday, October 17, 2011

My appointment is at 9:00

old school
Appointments. We all have them. And we have  a myriad of ways of keeping up with them. In the old-school days we had things called appointment books. American Express used to solicit my interest in a very formal, leather bound appointment book that weighted about 5 pounds. It looked like something you would put out on a coffee table. Of course, there is also the "stick it on the refrigerator with that pizza ad magnet" method of displaying those little appointment cards the dentists and doctors give you. Most of us now have the information stored on our cellphone, smartphone, iPad, or whatever other computing device we use. Lots of ways to keep up to make absolutely sure we do not miss an appointment. We don't want to be late.

I have a peeve about one particular type of appointment. I think this may actually be a universal peeve. Where in the world did the word "peeve" come from anyway? And the word is almost always preceded by the word pet. 1500's Middle English word pevish...becomes peevish (adjective) and about 1910 morphs into the noun variant "peeve." Enough of that tangent.

OK... let's get to it. If you have a doctor's appointment at 9:00am on any given Tuesday morning...what time would you expect to actually see the doctor as he or she begins his or her examination? Here's how it typically works... You arrive around 8:53-8:56, sign in on the clipboard in front of the window indicating the time you arrived, the time of your appointment and the name of your doctor. Why do they want to know when you arrived? Is there a punctuality award that is presented each week? If you arrived at 9:02 does that mean you have lost your place in the queue and will be penalized?

OK, so you arrive at 8:55, sign in, sit down and search for a magazine that was actually published during the term of the Obama administration. Finding none, you grab a Sports Illustrated where you can relive the 1998 World Series final game. Around 9:20 the door to the medical inner sanctum opens up and you hear your last name called out in the form of a question. Bueller? You pop up like a jack-in-the box, put the magazine back and head towards that door...not too bad...only 20 minutes late seeing the doctor.

Oh, but it is just an illusion. The nurse escorts you to the examination room (aka holding pen 3a) and as she slides right back out she says (with a surprisingly straight face) the six magic words..."the doctor will be right in." This isn't your first rodeo but you refrain from shouting out "liar, liar, pants on fire." Now it is 9:30. You look around the examination room and take inventory of all the things you can see. You notice a jar filled with tongue depressors (does the same company that makes popsicle sticks also make tongue depressors? If not, maybe this is one small way to bring down the cost of healthcare.) You wonder if you are supposed to sit on the examination stool or go ahead and take a sit on the butcher paper covered examination table.

At 9:47 you hear a knock and a different nurse comes in, sits down on the stool and begins her questioning. "So, why are we here this morning" We? I assume she is here because she works here and I am here for the same reason I gave the receptionist 11 days ago when I made my appointment. But I guess someone forgot to write that down. So I explain my reason for ruining my Tuesday morning by having to come to the doctor. After several more questions, she gets up and says those same six words I heard the other nurse say. Hmmm...another liar.

At 9:57, the door opens and in pops the doctor who asks the question "so, why are we here today?" My goodness, don't any of these people share information?  The examination takes all of 4 minutes and 34 seconds then you are being escorted out the door and down the hall to the "pay your bill" window and to tell the check-out person the date and time when the doctor wants to see you again...and to pay your bill.

Is it too much to expect that if you have an appointment to see the doctor at 9:00 that you could actually see the doctor at 9:00? Why does this never happen?

I mean, you had an appointment...

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

To everything there is a season

If you are a child of the 60's, you remember the 1965 Byrds hit song Turn, Turn, Turn. (click for song on YouTube) The lyrics are straight from the Bible...the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3:1-8. And while the passage and song are not primarily about the "seasons"...as in Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall (all you have to do is call and I'll be there yeah yeah yeah....oops that's a different song from James Taylor ) I mentioned the Byrd's song because I like it and I love scripture. But this post isn't about either. Sorry.


What is your favorite season? Since I am writing this in October you might think that my favorite season is Fall. Well, you would be correct. I LOVE Fall (aka Autumn.) I know some folks that love Summer the most, others love Spring while there are some that choose Winter as their favorite season. Do you think that your favorite season says something about who you are? There is some research that has been done on this topic but it is still a fairly new field of study.

Sarah Jio, in her blog, cites information from Dr. Scott Haltzman concerning favorite seasons. Dr. Haltzman is a well known psychiatrist and author. "Any scientific exploration of how people choose seasons must be colored by the fact that different seasons appear differently to those in different parts of the country," he notes. "For example, May days in the Northeast are glorious, while San Diego has very mild and warm winters, but a cloudy and gloomy month of May."

 Fall: You could be a risk taker, a bit of a wild child even. "The inconsistency of fall, and the dramatic colors and weather of the season tends to appeal to risk takers," he says. "For instance, when people choose what color clothes appeal to them, they are often unconsciously reflecting the colors in nature that appeal to them. In my clinical experience, individuals who wear bright colors or die their hair in off-beat shades often prefer fall as their favorite season." (If I had any hair, I might be tempted to color it some crazy shade.)



Winter: Break out the hot cocoa and a good book! Sound like your thing? "In my experience, people who say they favor winter are those who are less adventurous," he says. "They tend to be homebodies, and feel less comfortable when they are out of their element." (I would think those that love the Winter sports...skiing, snowboarding, skating, snowmobiling might declare winter as their favorite.)





Spring: If your favorite season involves waiting for the tulips to pop out of the ground, you're likely to be patient and easy going. "I think that individuals who are drawn to spring are less prone to seek immediate gratification," he says. "Like waiting for summer to unfold, they seem to enjoy a pace of life more low key than those who prefer summer or fall." (Masters Week in Augusta, Georgia makes NOT choosing Spring as the favorite very difficult.)



Summer: You're likely to be the life of the party--fun and lively. "People who are drawn to toward the sun, surf and open space of summer, for example, tend to be more outgoing," notes Haltzman. (Does anyone NOT love Summer? ...not my favorite, though.)







Cooler weather, baseball playoffs, football season, watching the leaves explode with color, camping, hiking, Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner (and more football)...what's not to love about Fall?


So...what's your favorite and why?


You Can Read More of Sarah Jio's Blog At  http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2008/12/your-happiness-whats-your-favo.html#ixzz1ZsQwrRRH